Friday, March 12, 2021


I am somewhat reluctant to give today's post, because truthfully, if it was up to me, I would not post it.  There is no upbeat sense of anticipation with Father's blessings in it, nor does it have the romantic bridal tune of "your Bridegroom is coming" as the backdrop.  It is about God's judgment.  Something that I of late have been experiencing and it has brought me to the point that my own words are starting to depress me.  So my attitude was more or less of, "Should I really drag everybody else into where I am at?"   But I have had so many different confirmations that at this point it would just be downright disobedient of me to do othewise.  "So let the chips fall where they may".  I have to trust Him to touch that one soul that needs to hear this.  That has gone through the wilderness and are standing in their own personal Jordan, just as I am right now.  Or, in time coming, for those who by God's grace will be brought here. And as I said before, we are all at different phases in our growth.  One person's Jordan is another person's wilderness.  At the heart of this post is the wisdom of God's dealings that is completely different than ours.  We cannot put Him in a box, because, well frankly, He just won't fit.  And so my prayer is that when you listen or read this post, you will think of God's dealings with man in history, and how this correlates with how His dealings have been with you.  And just exactly where is He going with you in all His dealings?  There is a great chance that many will look upon this post almost "too late" for where we find ourselves presently in the spiritual timeframe of things, but His work is never done, until the last second we hear that trumpet call. And so it behoofs us to take note, to have teachable hearts and be faithful to the end with Him in all His dealings with us.

I'm starting this post with a word He gave me in August 2020 that will form the backdrop.  I opened my journal and it "sprang" out to me, arresting my heart.  This word from Father I received about a day or two after I saw a very quick flash vision.  The first thing I saw the most beautiful brown eye.  The brown was almost copper and was in a way transparent...difficult to describe.  Big lashes and perfectly defined.  The next moment I saw this reptilian eye, with the slit in the middle.  I still drew them side to side in my journal.  So let's start with the Word.

WORD RECEIVED - August 2020

Hearing and seeing are linked. You cannot see, because you do not hear. And you do not hear, because you cannot see.

The Pharisees could not hear and receive My sayings, becaue they thought they are not blind. They said that they can see, and therefore could not receive My words. 

Pride blinds and pride is the enemy of true discernment.  Pride is the true mote of the eye.

The eye is not single, not truly devoted to me, but to self.  For it glorifies self and protects self.  Therefore, blind to your own faults and not to those of others.  Seeing very well the faults of others, but blind to its own. Boasting in what they can see, there true blindness is with themselves.  

One has to discern first inward, before you can see without.


Do not be blind to your own sin, but acknowledge them to me and I will lift you up.

Scripture Reference:

Matthew 6: 21 - 23

Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

The light of the body is the eye.  If thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light.

But if thine eye be evil, the whole body shall be full of darkness.

If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness.

This word has some very pertinent statements that can stand on their own.  The one I would like to focus on is - AS A MAN IS, SO HE JUDGES.  It is interesting to note that the post is about God's judgment on man and it starts with man who judges from out of who he is. To judge is another word to discern whether something is "right" or "wrong".  And depending on your disposition and personal "filters" as I call them, it will influence you in your discernment and or judging, even if you are doctrinally correct.  Remember, we are told to guard our hearts for out of it flows the issues of life.  So at the heart of judging or discernment, is the heart.  And this is exactly where His focus is with regard to a single or evil eye, as we have just read.  

As you know I am in a fast. This fast is for the purpose to be in sackcloth and ashes, so that He may lift up the bridal veil and exchange it for sackcloth, as per my post "Lazarus", quoting Isaiah 47.  This is a process and not a one-time only thing.  Once He shows you, you do not go on as normal, but rather everything changes.  And what He is showing me is who and what I really am.  What lies in the depth of man's heart, my heart.  Well, I have seen the enemy, and it is "I".  He is showing me the depths of man's depravity without Him and that without Him we are nothing but beasts.  

David says in Psalm73 the following:

13 Verily I have cleansed my heart in vain, and washed my hands in innocency.

14 For all the day long have I been plagued, and chastened every morning.

This has been my reality thus far.  I  have come to where David was, where he sees that even though repentance is of utmost importance, the very essence of sin is still very much beating in his heart.  He is aware that his sin is covered, and yet still there.  Always fighting the "beast" within as we read in Romans 7, that which I do not want to do, I find myself doing and that which I want to do, I do not.  He goes on to mention the two laws within us, that of the sin nature and His nature.  Another word for this sin nature is flesh or in essence "self".  Which is what makes us the enemies of God that has been reconciled to God.

Romans 5: 10

10 For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life.

So why is He showing me this if I then am reconciled to Him by the death of His Son?  In a nutshell, I asked for it.  We should be very careful of what we ask Him.  However, I very much went into my Jordan willingly, knowing full well that it would mean total death.  That His aim is that "beast" residing in my heart, thinking that he can declare himself as God in God's holy temple.  This "beast" wishes to dethrone my Lord and therefore he must die, and I have given Father permission.

David says further:

22 So foolish was I, and ignorant: I was as a beast before thee.

23 Nevertheless I am continually with thee: thou hast holden me by my right hand.

God works from the inside out.  We know that the Kingdom of God is near, and even within our hearts.  And in this Kingdom of our heart is an enemy. One who is determined to not leave.  He is willing to stay even in the folds of our righteous garments, just as long as he does not have to leave.  Because leaving, would mean full control and he just cannot allow that.  That would mean no limitations to what Christ would do through this temple.  And so the way of Father is to show me this "beast".  And that he has always been there in enmity with the Spirit within me.  This kingdom within us is not a palpable one that we can touch and feel, but rather it deals with our senses and thoughts as strongholds and prisons are built within our being.  And even Paul cried out...

Romans 8: 23 - 25

23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.

24 O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?

25 I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.

Paul is talking here about a law, and not about sinful actions.  He is talking about that very "beast" residing in our hearts called "self".  You will remember in my previous post mentioning Eve and her partaking of the fruit how at that moment the seed of independence was planted in her heart, and have been growing ever since.  Where nothing will be impossible for man.  We see this even now in this evil world.  Do you see the heart of the "beast" in our independence of God?  The ax has to be laid to the root of the tree!  In John 15 we read that He seeks good fruit and that he prunes us, and prunes us again.  There are two trees in the garden of our hearts.  The Vine in which we are grafted, is Him, but the tree that flourishes by the evidence of its fruit in our lives is that tree of the knowledge of good and evil...SELF.  Two trees in the garden of our hearts.  Two laws in the garden of our hearts.  Two kings in the throne room of our hearts.  Now before you go on to see the "beast" as the devil himself, I would like to remind you, that WE were the enemies that He reconciled to Himself.  Our alegiance to the enemy without, eating of his fruit, has caused the seed to grow in OUR hearts.  The ax has to be laid to that root.  That tree must die completely in us and the reality is that we may ask for forgiveness, and we will be forgiven receiving His mercy, but dealing with the fruit is different that dealing with the root.  The root is the source, and it is with that source He has a contention with.  Make no mistake, there is a war and that war is within.  And what a long war!  And the reality is that ONLY He can lay the ax to that root.  We cannot.  We can ask for forgivness and walk in the grace and mercy of God, but as to the root, there is only ONE.  He has to show us.  He has to show us the reality of the true state of our being, of who man really is.  We are ALL so at His mercy to lay the ax to the root.

This is why He is wanting us to see that our hearing and seeing influence each other.  Because if your eye is still evil, there is a darkness within that has no end. An evil eye is a divided eye, that points to a divided heart.  Remember, two trees in one garden.  This is why Jesus started this conversation with where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.  His focus is on the heart within, the person within, looking through that eye.  Because as  you are, so you see.  The Pharisees did everything right.  They knew the law and were following it meticulously, but because they were divorced from the true state of their hearts, they were unable to receive Jesus' sayings.  They out right told Him that they are not blind, but that was not to their credit.  It simply meant that the following scripture applies:

Revelation 3: 17 - 19 

17 Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked:

18 I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich; and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear; and anoint thine eyes with eyesalve, that thou mayest see.

19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.

The word "wretch" is exactly the word Paul used in Romans 7, which is how he saw himself, his heart as it truly is.  And how did Paul, the Pharisee of all Pharisees get to that place?  Father has to bring us to the place that we in authenticity see ourselves truly as wretched, miserable, poor, blind and naked.  Because the "beast" within, will not go there willingly.  To a point under religious pretense.  It will carry the cross, but is not willing to die on that cross.

And with this sin nature, this self within me, the reality is, that left to myself I will deny Him, just like Peter. I will seek my own and left to myself I will curse Him.  Left to myself I will crucify Him.  And this is what I did.  It was my sin on that cross that nailed Him to that tree, and left to myself, I will do it again.  That "beast" will do it again.  Peter was never the same after that night.  He even went back to his old  He was brought to ashes.  He was brought to that place where everything that He did for Christ, the miracles, the driving out of demons and all previous experiences with Christ, was laid aside.  It was dead.  And yet, the next morning, Jesus awaited him with a banquet of fish on the fire.  Jesus never doubted Peter's love.  He knew, but Peter needed to be reminded that He knows.  This is why Peter said, "Lord, you know."  Father took this man, faced with the reality of His heart by what he has done, and says, "I know you love Me and this is why I had to show you that without Me, you can do nothing."  And so we know this.  We know that without Him we can do nothing, but He has to bring us to the reality of it by making us nothing.  All that must be left is LOVE.  This is why Paul said, without love, we are nothing.  Everything else will pass away, but only that which is perfect will remain.  Peter was brought to nothing, Paul was brought to nothing, Christ was brought to nothing.  What makes us think that we are not to be brought to nothing?

And this is the judgment of God on us here and now.  I have to be judged now or after. In the end the question will be, "What did you do with the fact that My Son died on a cross for YOUR sin?" The cross will either testify for us, or against us.  It will either be a mercy or a judgment.  Better to be judged now so that I can receive mercy later. 

To be poor in spirit is not just humility.  Matthew 6 says, Blessed are the poor in spirit, for they shall inherit the Kingdom of Heaven. To be poor in spirit is to see your true state and live from that reality.  This poverty of spirit is not accessorised with a halo.  It is a deep inner sense of our utter unworthiness of the grace and mercy of our God on us. He has to show us our hearts.  I am not talking about little "boo boos" of occasional sin, or even habitual sin.  I am talking about what man is and what man is without God.  Unless He shows us we will not be poor in spirit.  Remember the Revelation 3 scripture where they say they are rich, but do not know that they are poor? The reality is that you do not know yourself as you should, until you know yourself as this. Only He can bring you to this point as He lays the ax to the root. 

In a way we have to go through our own "holocast". We have to be stripped, become anemic in strength and gawked eyed and brought to ashes. We look at the holocast and click our tongue feeling terrible for them.  Depending on our disposition we may even think it was their due.  It has been foretold.  But what about our own holocast.  How come we who are guilty of the same do not get our due?  Is God turning a blind eye to our sin?   Why do we think we are exempt from being brought to ashes?  Especially considering the true state of our heart.

The reality is that there is soon coming another holocast that will make the previous one look like a picnic.  It has already started and is still in its infant phase, but will soon be undeniable.   A world holocast.  This time it will not just be the Jews but all of the world as well.  And just like God allowed his judgment on Israel through the hands of Hitler, He will again allow His judgment through the hands of the chosen "son of perdition".  We have failed to hear and see what the message of the holocast was onto us, which was God's judgment on sin.   History is about to repeat itself.  Not because God is vindictive, but because just like Israel, the world has spurned the cross and has not taken to heart the time of grace given, but have reveled in sin.  

You might say, "But Pietra, He died on the cross that we should not experience His wrath!"  Yes, this is true.  But His judgment now is His mercy, so that we will not be the receivers of His wrath.  Unless there is judgment on our sin, there cannot be mercy to stay His wrath.  So to be willing for His judgment now is to give Him permission to remove your bridal veil and be clothed with sackcloth and sit in ashes, as He shows you like Peter, Paul and Jesus, the reality of your heart, AS HE SEES IT.  

If you refuse to see the wisdom of God in His judgment and are adamant that He only extends mercy,  that what I am saying is contrary to the message of the cross, then you are either  ignorant of His ways or refuse to submit to it.  In truth, we would rather have His mercy than His judgment.  But, you cannot have the one without the other.  His judgment is His mercy.  As Ezekiel standing before the valley of dry bones in Ezekiel 37, and God asks him, "Son of man, can these bones live?"  And Ezekiel answered, "O God, only Thou knowest!".  Exactly what Peter said when Jesus asked him whether he loves Him..."O Lord, Thou knowest."  Should there be still some semblance of self in you that are able to raise yourself up, you have yet to be brought to ashes. 

I repeat what He said to me before:

"Just like I did not need your help to save you, I do not need your help to raise you."

Lazarus was brought to this place.  Dead as a nail.  Not for three days, but four.  No hope whatsoever.   The Jews believed that up and until the third day the soul can still return to the body.  So my question to you today is, "Does that soul, that "self" still reside in your body, or have you been brought to this death where there is no more hope?"  And just like Lazarus, there is only One that can raise you.

This death is not a death that you can innitiate, nor one where you can raise yourself up.  It is God, or nobody. 

The issue of the holocast is the issue of God, and if we refuse to see His hand in allowing it, we stand the chance of making Him in our image, to what we would like.  And if we think that He would not want to bring us personally to ashes as He did with Peter, Paul and our Messiah, then we are in danger of putting Him in a box.  God's judgment is His mercy and we cannot separate the two.  As Art Katz says, "God is a seemless garment".  

We treat the holocast as if He had an issue with the Jews. But the truth is, God has an issue with man. Of which the holocast and the cross are an expression of both His judgment and mercy.   

The holocast that is about to happen in this world, will require of those who will be the workers chosen to be sent out to bring hope and a word of comfort to those who will be utterly devastated, to have gone through their own pesonal holocast.  How will you be able to speak that word of comfort unless you yourself have gone through your own personal holocast, brought to ashes and having a testimony of being raised.  Will you have hope?  Will you have a living testimony?  As He will use the hand of the "son of perdition" to smite this world, He will use the hands of those chosen ones to bring comfort.  Such is the wisdom of God.  The same hand that smites, is the same hand that comforts. The same hand that judges, shows mercy.

Hosea 6: 1 - 3

1 Come, and let us return unto the Lord: for he hath torn, and he will heal us; he hath smitten, and he will bind us up.

After two days will he revive us: in the third day he will raise us up, and we shall live in his sight.

Then shall we know, if we follow on to know the Lord: his going forth is prepared as the morning; and he shall come unto us as the rain, as the latter and former rain unto the earth.

We know this scripture is speaking about Jacob's trouble and the return of Israel to their Messiah, but all scripture is there for us as a type and shadow to first apply personally.  Here we read how He smites, but also heals.

In this is a promise that He will restore that which He has brought to ashes.   Judgment and restoration, forgiveness and atonement is for us.  

He leaves us with a promise, one I am holding onto.

Isaiah 61

61 The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;

To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;

To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.

And they shall build the old wastes, they shall raise up the former desolations, and they shall repair the waste cities, the desolations of many generations.

And strangers shall stand and feed your flocks, and the sons of the alien shall be your plowmen and your vinedressers.

But ye shall be named the Priests of the Lord: men shall call you the Ministers of our God: ye shall eat the riches of the Gentiles, and in their glory shall ye boast yourselves.

For your shame ye shall have double; and for confusion they shall rejoice in their portion: therefore in their land they shall possess the double: everlasting joy shall be unto them.

For I the Lord love judgment, I hate robbery for burnt offering; and I will direct their work in truth, and I will make an everlasting covenant with them.

And their seed shall be known among the Gentiles, and their offspring among the people: all that see them shall acknowledge them, that they are the seed which the Lord hath blessed.

10 I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels.

11 For as the earth bringeth forth her bud, and as the garden causeth the things that are sown in it to spring forth; so the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring forth before all the nations.

Tuesday, March 9, 2021




To be still with the Lord not only in heart, but in mind is producing a trust that is not based on something palpable or concrete.  Rather this trust is from an inner knowing.  That I know that I know, that I know.  Learning to wait in silence of mind.  It is actually one of the things I thought quite profound, the fact that He says we are to take ALL our thoughts captive and that we have conveniently only thought to take the thoughts the enemy sends our way captive.  The reality is that even our own thoughts cannot be trusted, as it comes from our wicked hearts.  Hence the reason why we are not to lean on our own understanding.  This trust is not about your ability to control self.  Although this is a fruit of the Spirit, self can and has and will learn how to do exactly that.  We see it out in the world.  There are unsaved people that have more self-control than Christians have.  It really is a matter of motivation and determination.  So the sad reality is that within all our nice fruit we see, this self still plays a role.  Just when we thought we got a hold on issues.  But such is God’s wisdom to bring us to utter dependence on Him, which includes to not trust our spirituality as well.

Trust is not just a choice we have to make, but in essence it is a disposition.  A state of mind born from out of a relationship. “I trust you”, does not come easily.  I will confess that it took me over 30 years to authentically say that to Father.  Oh how we can lie to ourselves.  It truly is amazing.  In Psalm 78 we read this telling verse.

Psalm 78: 22

22 Because they believed not in God, and trusted not in his salvation:

This 78th chapter is about how Father led them out of Egypt and did so many miracles for them.  And even so, they believed not in God and trusted not in his salvation.  Isn’t that so much like us?  He takes us out of Egypt and we can testify of so many miracles, and yet at times we find ourselves exactly where they were at…they did not trust.  He slew them after that and they started calling out to Him again. But it says that they only flattered Him with their tongue.  See how deceitful our hearts are?

37 For their heart was not right with him, neither were they steadfast in his covenant.

Strange how we look down on those Israelites forgetting the type and shadow that they are of us?

It further goes on to say how He had compassion on them, remembering that they were only flesh.  Then it says something in verse 52 that touched my heart.

52 But made his own people to go forth like sheep, and guided them in the wilderness like a flock.

This theme of shepherd made me go to the familiar scripture of John 10 where Jesus talks about being the Good Shepherd.  He mentions something I thought strange in verse 15.

15 As the Father knoweth me, even so know I the Father: and I lay down my life for the sheep.

He was talking about how the sheep recognize the shepherd’s voice and will not follow another, but then He says, "as the Father knows me, even so I know the Father".  That is like saying as a shepherd knows the sheep, so the sheep knows the Shepherd.  I’ll give you a moment.  Think about it…do you know how dumb sheep are?  I mean, like really stupid.  They truly do follow one that goes astray.  They are so scared of the slightest noise and they huddle together in little groups, almost void of individual identity.  And yet, they know the shepherd?  They may know the shepherd’s voice, but the shepherd himself?  The reality is that this knowing, is actually the basis of trust.  What He is saying is, My Father trusts me, because He knows me.  And I trust Him, because I know Him.  For that reason I will lay My life down, because even though it will cost me everything, I trust Him.  I know He sent Me to die on a cross and He has given me the power to take up My life, but also to lay it down.  But I choose to lay it down, because I know how He loves the sheep, and I trust Him and know that He will raise Me up. Nothing is hidden about Me or about Him between us.  Of course, Jesus as we know, saw this through by actually doing it, and not just paying lip service to it. 

Meditating on these words, I just started thinking about how the Father knows the Son and I could of course only relate on a human level with regard to how an earthly parent knows their child.  Well, being a parent, I can truly say I know my daughter.  Even more so because of her disorders and having to be on the ball, so to speak.  I mean that I really know her.  I know why she thinks a certain way and reacts a certain way.  I know what puts her off, what scares her, what motivates her, what breaks her down.  And I of course know that most parents will say, “we do too”.  But I can tell you for a fact, that the same is not true about her.  Although we have gone over some very troubled waters, she still does not know me to the degree that I know her.  Which is obviously logical, but I think you see my point.  It is all about transparency and therefore the love and trust.  So Jesus is telling us, the relationship of trust I have with the Father is based on My knowing the Father.  Not just about Him knowing Me, but an actual relationship of transparency.

This brings me to the theme of the fast I am in, which is to BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD.  It is not just for the sake of being still, but being still is for the purpose of knowing.  Knowing who?  The Father.  Here we have the prerequisite of truly knowing the Father.  Going from knowing about Him, to knowing Him from that place of trust that is birthed out of stillness.  Can we say that we know as we ought and are we willing to do whatsoever it takes?  The outcome will be obedience of another kind, where you will be willing to lay your life down, due to absolute trust.  Do we trust Him 10%? 50/50 or 80%?  What constitute 100% trust and just how are we to get to that point?  As the Father knows Me, so I know the Father and lay My life down for the sheep.  The laying down His life was solely based on knowing the Father.  And God does not call us to an obedience that we can perform in our own strength, but brings us to the end of ourselves so that in our weakness, He can be strong.  So Jesus was willing in His humanity to be brought unto complete weakness.  He laid His life down as one weak, not strong.  Because should there have been any self-confidence that He as the Son of Man relied on, the Father would not have received the glory, even if they are one.  The issue was Jesus being sent as a man, so that He could be the forerunner and Patterned Son for us to emulate.  So there could have been no confidence in the flesh.  He was brought to nothing and He did it willingly.  His obedience was one that He could not perform out of His own strength.  Father reminded me of something He said to me last year.

“Just like I saved you without your help, so I will raise you without your help.”

Absolute trust.

Father is calling us to such a relationship with Him.  What then is the requirement for us to enter into this fully?  To know on an intimate level His likes and dislikes, joys and sadness, to know His heart.  And why should He extend this to us with our adulterous hearts?  Why should He want to share His pure and perfect heart with us?  And yet, this is His desire – BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD. 

He could have been called by other impersonal names, but He desired us to know Him as Father.   And to know Him as Father, is to trust Him.  And to trust Him is to obey Him.  We who have given our lives to the Father are all children of God.  Therefore, He knows us by name and also calls us by name.  Each and every one of us.  But He wants to bring us from children to sons, because sons speak of maturity that has been wrought through obediences and experiences in the wilderness.  Therefore He sent the Son of God to show us the Father, not the child of God, even though He came in the form of a child at first.  It is the Son we are to emulate and not the child.  Yes, childlike faith, but in the form of the Son.   This is also why He said to Phillip, “When you have seen Me, you have seen the Father”.  One can only represent the Father to the degree that you have come into sonship.  This has nothing to do with your physical age or even how long you have been born again.  Rather, sonship is a state of maturity where you have come to know that He is God, directly proportional to the degree that you have become still in all your categories.  He came to show us the Father by His knowing the Father.  And if it is required of us to be still to know Him, then as the Son of Man it was required of Him too to know Him as Father and be still.  Let that sink in. 

And so our concept of God as Father is not just disfigured by our past and various abuse that the enemy used, but also it is distorted by our own internal dialogue, perception and traditions, or as I like to call it “filters”.  The writer of Hebrews states the following:

Hebrews 5: 13 - 14

13 For every one that useth milk is unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe.

14 But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.

There is a requirement of us not to stagnate, not to think that we are doing dandy, to think that we pass the exam or no real need for more.  Jesus said in John 17 that to KNOW the Father and the Son whom He sent is eternal life, which is resurrection life.  Eternal life is not just about longevity, but quality of life.  God desires many sons and daughters and even so does creation groan for their manifestation.  Not just for that which constitute resurrection of the body, but resurrection life in us now!  Even the manifestation of the sons and daughters now on earth.  This is so that many more would come into sonship, as they see the Father in those who have matured.  And as Jesus said to Phillip, they can authentically say, when you see me, you see Jesus, which is the true express image of the Father!

Many people cannot relate to God as Father.  They speak through Jesus to the Father, which is what we are to do.  But His intention was never that we are to not speak to Him at all.  I know many people like that and I do have compassion on that disposition, because as I said, there is a reason for that.  Many also can call Him Father, but calling Him Father and relating to Him as Father, is two different things.  And as I said, trust is the issue.  He is calling us as children of God to come into sonship that we may know Him.  There are those in the Body that need to address this issue.  Some may have to allow Him to heal past hurts and stop sweeping it under the rug.  Because even that which transpired in you about how a father is, evidently has you still not calling Him “Father” from an authentic place.  Calling Him Father is a good beginning, but His desire is that we will truly know Him as Father.  What a privilege!

Everything suffers loss because we do not know Him as we ought.  Not truly recognizing Him as Father, in adversely cause us not to truly recognize ourselves as His sons and daughters.  We may pay homage to the idea, but saying something and being something is not the same.  And so this is why Paul said to the Corinthians, “Why do you walk as mere men?”  What a strange thing to say. As if to say that we are actually more than just mere men?  Our own deficiency with regard to this truth, shows in the degree that we trust Him.  And this is exactly His provision for us to know Him, which is stillness.  This is why great faith is liken to childlike faith, because children trust their Father, at least in a perfect world.  But how can we when the enemy has made sure that we would be disjointed and broken arrows in His quiver? 

He is desiring to set us straight, even if it means that He has to break the legs of the sheep and carry it on His shoulder.  The issue is never just correction, the issue is ultimately trust.  And just because some of us may have not had derelict fathers, does not constitute that we truly know Him as Father, at least the way He intends.  It does not exclude us from pressing into this, because though you may love Him, the issue still remains trust.  Therefore, He invites circumstances to prove you and correct you that you may know Him.  And though many of us can say “I know the Father”, it is somehow so easy to generalize.  If you are still living from out of the life in you, which is self, you have yet to enter into the resurrection life He intended for you.  We have to ask ourselves the questions we think somehow is not applicable to us, which is, “Do I know the Father as He knows me?”  And, “Am I willing to lay my life down?”  At the heart of it all will always be the cross.  For the cross is where the Father showed the extent of His wrath, the extent of our sin, but also the extent of His mercy and love.  It is only at the cross where we meet God, because without the blood, we cannot stand before Him.  Even so, Jesus did not say He knew the Father as the Father knew Him, based from their pre-incarnate relationship.  He emptied Himself it says in Phillipians 2. But He said this as a declaration of the relationship He has with the Father, as a man.  The message is, as man you can have a relationship with the Father to know Him as He knows you, even though He is very God!

It takes a tremendous paradigm shift in us to come to the full revelation of this.  Because subconsciously we do not believe that we can have this type of relationship with the Father.  But this is exactly why He came.  To show us as man that we can.  And once the penny drops, everything changes.  Because knowing the Father is to be like the Son.

If we miss the Father, how can we truly see ourselves as sons?  It is not just a title, He is a person, although God is Spirit.  But a person that wants to be known.  Hence the invitation. 

Jeremiah 29:13

13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.

Once all of our heart is invested in this seeking, we find Him.  And only He can bring us to that place.  We can only go that far and fall short every time.  And yet, we are to seek.  And for that, He has to deal with our hearts.  This is not for what we can get out of it, although we will benefit immensely.  It is what the Father desires!  To have many sons and daughters!  To have communion with us of an intimate kind, transparency, to return to the garden.  Not only that we can trust Him, but that He has brought us to such a place that He can trust us.  We are to return with all our hearts.  The Father wants to love you.  He wants to love you.  This is His desire.  This is His heart’s cry and this desire He places in us so that with cords of love He may draw us to Him.  This is eternal life that we may know the Father and Jesus Christ His Son. 


Enoch who walked with God, knew God.  God walks with us so that we may go from hearing to knowing.  And in between the hearing and the knowing, is stillness.  

At the heart of the Gospel is, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son…”

The motivation has never just been salvation, but relationship.

 I will end this post with some of the last words of Jesus' High Priestly prayer in John 17.

John 17: 23; 25 - 26

I in them, and Thou in Me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that Thou hast sent Me, and hast loved them, as Thou hast loved Me.

Oh righteous Father, the world hath not known thee; but I have known Thee, and these have known that thou has sent Me.

And I have declared unto them Thy Name, and will delcare it: that the love wherewith thou has loved Me may be in them, and I in them.




Monday, March 8, 2021




I had a dream on the 6th of March.  It was a long dream with a very clear message.  It will seem slightly confusing at first, but I will give you the interpretation that goes with it.  As I was meditating on this dream and the interpretation, I first and foremost took it for myself.  Father has been teaching me so much in this fast by being silent.  But equally in proportion to that which He is teaching me by His Spirit, He is also showing me the depth of my depraved and utterly wicked heart.  I have been mourning and have been in sackcloth so to speak for the last 13 days of this fast.  Every day He shows me the depth of the wickedness of my own heart, and I know there is no end to it.  Something only He can show us.  Not based on what we have done or still do in our lives, but what we are.  Who we are as man.  So this was the reason why I first took it for me.  And then He started to speak to me in my spirit.  I did not want Him to speak to me saying in my heart, "No, why are You speaking to me? You said you would not, and now you are!"  And then I reminded myself at that moment that He is God and can pretty much do what He wants.  After I wrote the word down, it was complete silence from there on again, stepping back into that space He is wanting to teach me without hearing Him.  Later on, I realized that the reason for this apparent "breach in the contract" with regard to no speaking, was that the word was not just for me, but for all those waiting on Him to take them home.  It is a sobering word and I pray that you hear what the Spirit is saying to His children.  But first the dream.


I dreamt that I was in my room looking outside. It was at the time of dawn.  Outside it was still misty and slightly dark.  My window was open.  As I walked to the window, I saw that there was something stuck to my window, about the size of my hand.  It was a tortoise!  When I got closer, I saw that it was actually a massive bullfrog.  It jumped off the window to the ground.  Watching it there from my window, I noticed that somebody was coming in my direction from the field.  It was two men, wearing dark cloaks.  The closer they got, the more clearer I could see that these were not two men, but two skeletons!  I was not scared.  In fact, I took out my cellphone and started making a video of them.  It was as if they did not notice me or even cared about noticing me.  They were on their way to go somewhere.  The next moment I was looking over a massive grave sight, seeing all the grave stones.  There were hundreds of these skeletons that were walking around there, on their way out.  Immediatly I knew that the dead in Christ has risen!

Suddenly I was in a next scene.  I was trying to get dressed, franctically looking for a specific top.  I could not find it anywhere, my agitation growing by the second.  I knew that I had to go out and tell everybody.  I went out on the streets and showed people the video, warning them to repent because Jesus is coming any second!  Going to everybody I could find.  The weird thing was that those that I was warning, were not even aware of these "risen dead" walking in the midst of them.  The next moment the scene changed again.

This time I was at a friend's home.  I shall refrain from saying her name to protect her privacy.  She was having a hot, steamy bath.  I know, because I could see her legs and feet in the bath from her perspective.  You know like when the steam goes up from your skin as you lift it out of the bath water.  I came to her and told her everything, showing her the video and that the Lord is coming to get us.  She immediately dressed and wanted to go tell her husband.  She knew he was not ready to meet the Lord.  As it is almost always at their home, the house was full of people.  And her husband was entertaining them.  I told her in the dream that it was too late for her husband and that she needs to believe that the Lord will look after him in the time coming, just like He would do with my husband.  Then the scene changed again.

I was running a bath in my friends home.  The water was lukewarm and this would just not do.  So I went searching for the electricity switch to put it on for some warm water to add to the bath.  I remember that whilst I was looking for this switch, I still had not found my top I was looking for.

End of dream.


In summary the dream is about how close we are to the coming of the Lord.  It is a warning for those who are alive in Christ to make ready for His return.  My friend and I do not represent ourselves in the dream, but rather the Church at large.  The time of day and the rising of the dead in Christ, is symbolic of a new beginning.  A new day.  It is also the time of day that many are still sleeping...that time when you actually sleep the deepest.  

My room represents our hearts and the open window that which is still a breach in our lives for the enemy to find entrance.  The bullfrog is an unclean spirit, but the reason why I first thought that it was a tortoise, is because the message is:  Our slowness in dealing with sin in our lives, which has always kept that one window open for the enemy to enter.  

So let's start with me in the dream.  I represent those of the church that evangelize.  That go out and tell people about His coming.  I can even show the proof (video).  However, not only am I not ready for Him to come, due to me not finding the right clothing, but I am lukewarm and I do not even know this.  And when He comes, a quick fix, the electrical switch, will not work.  I have to be fully clothed and warm in Christ.  So in essence, I did everything right concerning doing things for the Lord, but in my heart were secret sins that I have allowed, that was the very reason for not being rightly dressed for His coming and the lukewarmness.

My friend, being hot for the Lord, and being found clean, which refers to holy living, was however overtaken by sorrow and concern for her husband.  She was distraught to the point that this was all she could think about, and this caused her not to focus on the Lord, but to only be concerned about him.  She resembles those who are overtaken by the cares of this world, not just concerning our families and friends, but with what it going on at the moment in this world.

The people I was ministering to in the dream that did not react to my video proof or even the fact that the "risen dead" were walking among them, is showing the times we are in where people are in a daze, not recognizing the seriousness of the time.  I think this has a lot to do with a "crying wolf" syndrome.  How long have people heard, "The Lord is coming!"?  It has come to be like that where the emminency of His coming is completely vanished, and therefore no need to make right with God immediately.  "Tomorrow is another day", they think.

Word received:

I search the heart and see that which is done in secret.  I know the thoughts and intents of the heart of man.  And I know the wickedness of every heart.   For those who think they are pristinely clean, I see as white washed tombs, full of death and evil.  They are convinced of their own purity.  

What can wash away their sin?  Nothing but the Blood of Jesus.  What can make them whole again?  Nothing but the Blood of Jesus.  

So come and make ready.  Do not think you can stand before Me without being washed.  Not once, but every day.  For every day brings with it its temptations.  Every day the eyes lust, the flesh desires and pride goes rampant.  Every day an onslaught on your senses.  Nothing but the Blood, the Blood of My Son.  Many will say, "But Lord, did we not cast out devils in your Name?  Did we not do miracles in Your Name?  But they never built their lives in obedience to Me on the Rock.  

Therefore, they will be caught unawares in the storm coming. They will not stand, because they have not cut off the hand and plucked out the eye.  They have in secret held their hand to their bosom so that man could not see.  But I see.

All stand naked before Me.  All will have to stand before Me that sees everything.  I still seek those, my eye still goes to and fro across the earth in search for those who tremble at My word.  Those of old trembled, but this generation is stiff-necked, lusting after the flesh pots of Egypt.

Examine yourselves.  Examine yourselves whether you will be able to stand before the Son of Man.  Examine your wicked hearts and prepare to stand before Me.

The scripture that came to my spirit once I understood the dream, was Luke 21: 34 - 36

34 And take heed to yourselves, lest at any time your hearts be overcharged with surfeiting, and drunkenness, and cares of this life, and so that day come upon you unawares.

35 For as a snare shall it come on all them that dwell on the face of the whole earth.

36 Watch ye therefore, and pray always, that ye may be accounted worthy to escape all these things that shall come to pass, and to stand before the Son of man.

The word overcharged, means to be weighed down with a burden or a general sense of being weighted down.
The word surfeiting speaks of gluttony.  The Word says that many will make their belly their god.  But I want to submit to you that the frog in my dream speaks of an unclean spirit.  And gluttony speaks of a spirit of lust.  And there are many among the children of God that has a problem with food.  But in the same context lust takes on different forms.  It can be lust for recognition, lust for approval, lust for things in life, lust in what you are watching. Have you noticed how time flies by when you watch something on media, whatever form it takes? The question is to what degree are you overcharged by this lust?  

Drunkenness speaks for itself concerning the obvious.  It brings us back to where Jesus said that it will be as the days of Noah.  However, Jesus was speaking to His disciples, not to the world in this scripture of Luke 21.  And so it is very easy to be overtaken or overcharged with drunkness, that is to be intoxicated by something.  What is presently drawing you away from Him?  What has your mind so "locked down" that it is all you can think of?  Fear?  Anger? Lust?  

The time has come that we remove our leperous hand from our bosom and see it for what it is.  Giving Him the time now to allow Him to strips us, even if it means cutting off our hands and plucking out our eye.  Whatever it takes to be ready.  For He says those who are overcharged with these things, will be caught unawares. Just because you can pinpoint the season and the time, does not mean you are ready and will not be caught unaware.  There are those who knows the season, but has yet to still clean out the cupboard of their hearts.  They have yet to deal with that one thing that has always been their "Achiles heal".  They have yet to close the window of their bedroom, their heart.  They may see Him coming, but not be dressed appropriately, overcharged whether by lust or concerns.  It is time to get ready Bride.

Jeremiah 17: 9 - 10

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

I the Lord search the heart, I try the reins even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.

Mark 9: 43 - 48

43 And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:

44 Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.

45 And if thy foot offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter halt into life, than having two feet to be cast into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:

46 Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.

47 And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire:

48 Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.

Proverbs 27: 20

Hell and destruction are never full, so the eyes of man are never satisfied.

Proverbs 30: 20

Such is the way of the adulterous woman, she eateth, and wipeth her mouth and saith, "I have done no wickedness.

Psalm 139: 23 - 24

Search me, O Lord, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:

And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.