Thursday, April 15, 2021




In this devotional I will be addressing three people regarding the prophetic.  It is important for us to have the understanding of what a  true prophet is, especially needed in the time to come.  Indeed we are already there.  The first person is the prophet and that which distinguish the office of a prophet to that of those who have the gift of prophecy.  Then I will address the hearers of a word from a prophet and their responsibility, and lastly, I will address those who have interceded for true prophets.  I was not aware of those intercessors, but God is.  There is also a word for the prophets that I received yesterday, as well as a word for the intercessors who have prayed for these prophets.  

This late in the game you may be asking what would be the purpose?  Or you may think this does not apply to you seeing that you may not be a prophet or an intercessor.  However, we are all hearers of the spoken word of God and it is incumbent upon us to be able to discern between that which is true and that which is false.  Especially because the Church is built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets. 

Ephesians 2: 19 - 20

19 Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints, and of the household of God;

20 And are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone;

So let’s first speak to the prophet and what is that which distinguishes the office from the gift. I would also like to mention that even though I am using the word prophet, by implication the prophetess is included. 

The investment of God in the shaping of the character, the life of the prophet, is not done in a two-week course or something you can pluck off a tree and claim it for yourself.  Rather the person whom God prepares to be a prophet very often do not want to be one.  They do not wish to be placed on a pedestal or to be made known.  They do not have a great following.  This person has been hidden by God for years and in the process of a lifetime is made into a prophet, not by choice, but by God’s dealings with him/her.  It is a process of evolution from trial after trial.  So that in the end God’s purpose for the prophet is that his identification with the word he speaks, is in conjunction with his own life.  This is what distinguishes the true prophet from those who have the gift of prophecy. The fact that the prophet himself is also the message.  You cannot separate the prophet from the message, but those with the gift of prophecy receive it at any given moment. In fact anyone can receive the gift who has the Spirt of God.  But a prophet is made, made in the isolation of the desert, outside of “Jerusalem”, like John the Baptist.  They live an extremely lonely life, even though they have families.  This person are often drawn aside by the Lord for extended periods of time in order to there hear the still small voice of God.  And it is in these extended dealings of God with this person, in secret, that the evolution takes place, sometimes not even known to him that this is God’s purpose for his or her life.  He does not go to the wilderness alone because he knows he is a prophet.  All he knows is that God has spoken and he must obey.  There God reveals to him His heart and places His burden upon the prophet.  But the prophet has to be the message before he can speak the message.  He has to enter into the reality of the message and for this God subjects him or her to trials and crosses that others do not necessarily endure.  It is here where the prophet is taught to see and hear with spiritual ears and eyes, to be able to perceive and build a repertoire of intuition that has not come cheaply.  He picks up different things than others do and often see the "not so obvious" , which is often insignificant to others.  And yet, because his spiritual senses have been trained, he is able to recognize the particular fingerprint of God on it and God is able to speak volumes to him regarding that seemingly insignificant thing.  And as great as that privilege sounds, it also carries with it that fact that with every message there is first a death to die, before the word can be released.  For only that which comes from death can have the resurrection life of God. And in experiencing God’s judgment on his life, as well as the resurrection life from that death, the message is brought with authenticity.  It is not brought to bring knowledge or understanding.  But the prophet pours out his soul, which is the underlining factor of the authenticity of the message…he is walking the talk.  It is not just words, but his life.  The cross is central to the prophet, and if he is to write or speak, he has to eat the scroll so that it has to first become part of him. 

The prophet is not perfect although his life is scrutinized and held up to a very high standard.  And yet God allows this man or woman to be subject to broken marriages, trauma, or a certain disposition that will offend.  He will even allow him or her to say that which sounds utterly contrary to what God would say, and yet, this in itself is the choice God places before the hearers.  “Are you going to reject My word because of the vessel it comes through?”  God gives us a choice.  Maybe you are asking why would God do that? I think He does this so that we may always remember that all men are fallible. Even a prophet.  And very often the prophet is prone to a certain way of speaking, highlighted by hyperboles and the melodramatic, to the point where what he says is disregarded.  This however is where the teacher comes in and also living in communion with others where he can be corrected in love, so as to not unnecessarily exaggerate to make the point.  Because it is through this exaggeration that he can easily take certain liberties through the years and become subject to deception.  So this “flaw” in the prophet is a provision for him to keep him dependent on the Lord and to remain humble.  In a way one can call this the “Prophetic Offence”. God’s jealousy over these prophets is fierce, but so is His discipline to form the hearing ear and the seeing eye also.  The prophet is not absolved from his mistakes just because the Lord subjects him to certain things, but rather he is painfully aware how his mistakes can influence the word spoken and strives for perfection and authenticity.  The quality of the man or woman comes through his speaking and his writing.  There is a depth of understanding that transcends just mere knowledge, which is reality.  What he writes or speaks is reality. We see this in a somewhat more extreme way about John the Baptist who was an offence.  Where he lived, what he wore and even his diet.  Not to mention his message.  A real “weirdo”.  And yet, he was specifically chosen to be an offence.  Not just to give a message, but to be an offence as well.  It comes with the calling and for that very reason the prophet has to be prepared by God to be able to deal with those who are offended and will ridicule.  This does not happen overnight. 

Prophets are called also for a specific purpose.  They are not all the same color marbles in one bag.  Rather when we look at Isaiah, his calling was very specific to uproot and call out God’s judgment.  Jeremiah, known as the “Weeping Prophet” was lamenting the destruction of God’s people.  Hosea was called to marry and specifically act out God’s faithfulness to an unfaithful Bride.  Elijah was called to confront Kings.  And knowing how God works, He chooses those who are contrary to their calling.  Who would not necessarily want to speak the word of judgment, or want to speak the word of comfort, like Jonah. He has to prepare them for that calling and it could also very well be that they for the whole of their preparation never speak one word, but their life speaking volumes and confronting those they live with and come into contact with. 

The prophet often operates from an intuitive place, rather than the type of emphasis a teacher would give to the written Word.  A teacher would elaborate with scripture upon scripture and knowledge and understanding are increased.  But the prophet brings forth the heart of the message.  Not being indifferent to the written Word, but he brings color in deeper understandings, to the outline that the written word provides.  Completing the picture.  Without the outline and the color, the picture is incomplete.  In his calling there is a place for intuition, an apprehension by the Spirit that does not first come to him by scripture, often offensive to the teacher.  Because the teacher will demand the accuracy of the Word, whilst the prophet the prophetic interpretation at that given moment.  Not that the Word is secondary, but rather prophetic understanding and revelation in conjunction with the Word is what he is aiming at.  Neither the teacher nor the prophet is wrong.  In fact, they are a provision unto each other in the bond of love.  This is also the offense created by the prophet to those of the congregation who have the disposition of the teacher.  Not that they are pharisees, but holding fast to the letter, they can often miss the Spirit.  And yet, God makes allowance for this in His wisdom so that the one needs the other.

Most do not receive their calling at a specific set time.  Their whole life is that call and not a single moment.  It is only later during the process and after many years when he is recognized by others as such, that he starts to recognize it himself. The very first thing he will do is to let God know that He has the wrong person for the job.  Moses said he stutters.  Jeremiah said he is too young.  They do not ask for it, nor do they desire to be one.  They are all too aware of the cost of being one, but ultimately they are willing.  This willingness forged through the years after dying multiple deaths by the hand of God’s judgment on them.  They are alone on their journey and often feel completely misunderstood and undervalued.  Both these being true.  They have a disposition of feeling deeply the heart of God and it is often overwhelmed to the point where they need to ask for grace in order to bear it.  Jeremiah said the following in chapter 15.

Jeremiah 15: 15 - 18

15 Lord, thou knowest: remember me, and visit me, and revenge me of my persecutors; take me not away in thy longsuffering: know that for thy sake I have suffered rebuke.

16 Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O Lord God of hosts.

17 I sat not in the assembly of the mockers, nor rejoiced; I sat alone because of thy hand: for thou hast filled me with indignation.

18 Why is my pain perpetual, and my wound incurable, which refuseth to be healed? wilt thou be altogether unto me as a liar, and as waters that fail?

The message he gives is the burden of the Lord that the prophet bares.  A disposition of always calling back to repentance, the ability to have an overview of God’s end-time purpose and a call to return to that which was first upheld, the foundation.  They are foundation builders. This burden is only lifted once the spoken word has gone forth, but to not have that word heard is a mutually unbearable burden the prophet is subject to, knowing intimately the heart of God in the message.  So that the prophet continuously live in the tension of the faith, casting himself continually upon God as he subjects himself to doubt whether the word was from God or from himself.  And to think that a prophet is not prone to these doubts is to elevate them above what they are.  Prone just like all men to get things wrong.  And so he or she knows this, and lives in that tension always.  It is a burden to be a prophet.

Prophets also write.  They are the scribes of God.  This does not mean that every writer is a prophet, but it is a common distinction or gift given to the prophet.  God’s purpose for this is that the word given may be placed on record on earth and in heaven.  They are not writers, but receive the ability to write by the unction of the Spirit at a given time.  It is also an agony to write because in the writing is the bearing of the word, a birth in a sense within the Spirit, carrying the weight of the message.  They do not write to write, but because they have a message and was given the assignment, until the next.  In their writing they often find themselves having to reread what they wrote, not believing that which came from their pen as coming from them.  And that is exactly it.  They are merely the pen, but God the writer. 

What is future for others is present for the prophet.  That which he sees as vitally important is seen as an exaggerated view by others at times.  He speaks from the urgency of his conviction palpitating from his heart, being his reality, with the cry that the hearers would only recognize God in the message, even if he himself is an abomination to them. 

There is also a silent partnership with the prophet and God where God acts only on the spoken word.  In the same way that He asked Ezekiel, “Son of Man, can these bones live?” and Ezekiel not in bravado and “name it and claim it” way says, Oh Lord, thou knowest (Ezekiel 37).  And then God says to Ezekiel to speak to the bones.  In the same way Elijah told Ahab that by his word the rain would not fall.  The focus is not the prophet, but the God behind the prophet who works in partnership with this spoken word.  So one has to ask, “Will it happen unless the prophet speaks?”  Well, God has more than one prophet.  And so the onus is on the prophet not only to hear correctly, but also to speak correctly and at the appointed time, which is crucial.  

The prophet is also just as much called to act as he is to speak.  Very often he has to demonstrate the message, even by being an example or by doing a prophetic act, but always in conjunction with God.  He becomes the visible manifestation of the elements central to God’s own being. This has been wrought into the fibre of the prophet and these elements the world hates, because it is the testimony of Jesus Christ.  In Revelation 19 we see that at the heart of the message of every prophet is Jesus Christ.

Revelation 19:10

10 And I fell at his feet to worship him. And he said unto me, See thou do it not: I am thy fellow servant, and of thy brethren that have the testimony of Jesus: worship God: for the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.

I received a word from the Lord on the 13th and it is for those prophets who have been hidden for all these years and know that the Lord have prepared them for such a time as this.  Those who resonate with what I have written here and who can clearly see how God has wrought this into their own lives.  

Coming out of the cave 

Word received 13th April 2021

What are you doing here?  Why are you still hiding in the cave of despair?  Have I not fed you with meat and water?  Have you not lived from every word I speak?  Have I not filled you with my living water?  Yet here you are in the cave of despair.  

I have watched over you and have taken care of you, but now it is time for you to stand at the mouth of the cave.  The mouth where I will speak to you.  Not in the strong wind, not in the fire, not in the earthquake, but my still small voice that have spoken to you all along.  For as the mouth of the cave is open, so my mouth is ready to speak through my prophets who have been hidden in the caves of despair.  

They have seen how no one listens.  They have seen that it falls on deaf ears.  They have seen broken vows.  All this has brought them into isolation.  Even as Elijah cried out, “Enough! Leave me here that I may die!”  I say to you live!  Because your appointment is at hand.  Your assignment is at hand…but will I find you at the mouth where I can speak to you?  Therefore rise from the ashes.  Rise from despair into new life and stand at the mouth of the cave.  You have been hidden in Me for a time, but the season has come to speak that which I lay on your heart.  Do not fear what man will say to you, fear me.  Live before me alone, and answer to me.  For I will require of you every idle word as my mouthpiece.  Do not concern yourself with those who ridicule and those who do not listen.  For those who do, have ears to hear and will hear.  

Only, you obey.  Listen, wait and obey.  I am your reward.  I am ready to speak. Will you position yourself to hear?  Sanctify yourself before me now.  Be still and wait for my still small voice.

Please Read:

1 Kings 19

Let us now go the hearers of the word from the prophet.

God has a deep identification with that which is prophetic and to somehow touch that, is to touch Him.  This also the reason for the great enmity against God that is shown in the persecuting and killing of prophets.  The investment the Lord makes into making anyone into one of the five fold offices is huge, but that which makes up the prophet and apostles requires a greater inner working to walk in authenticity.  One who receives a prophet, receives the reward of the prophet.

Matthew 10: 41

41 He that receiveth a prophet in the name of a prophet shall receive a prophet's reward; and he that receiveth a righteous man in the name of a righteous man shall receive a righteous man's reward.

It goes without saying that the hearers who have not undergone this vigorous preparation that the prophet has gone through, do not have the same relationship.  And even though we are to discern as hearers, we are told by Jesus to judge righteously. That is to say, sweep before your own front door first. Be careful of those stones. Not everyone can be a prophet and this is perfectly fine, but what is the responsibility of the hearer and what should their disposition be towards the prophet?  Unfortunately the problem lies that the hearers of the message are so eager for the fulfillment of the last day promise of Elijah that must come first, not only Elijah himself, but the spirit of Elijah, that they grab and hold onto any message without considering the messenger.  You cannot separate the two.  But when it comes to the gift of prophecy you can separate the message from the messenger.  So not everyone that prophecies is a prophet and sadly often someone has the gift of knowledge and is “labeled” a prophet too.  The familiar saying of “everybody is a prophet” has become the reality, where in fact they are very few and far between.  With the plethora of “words” coming via the internet and churches, it cannot be stressed enough how important it is that we understand the office of the prophet and be able to discern correctly.

The weight and responsibility upon the hearers, especially the season where we are presently at, is so huge, not only to recognize the true from the false, but also not to incur judgment from the Lord in rejecting the true.  We somehow think that we can browse over a prophetic word as if it is the latest news, when in fact it is the word of God.  And unfortunately the ignorance of the church to give the proper honor to the true prophet of God and not just a pat of the back with a “great word brother”, is showing the disposition of not honoring the office, and therefore not the Giver of the Word.  What is the proper response to a word from God? It is nothing other than to search our heart and to pray over the word given.  Also to test the word against the written word and the character of God.  Because there will be a requirement and merely the acknowledgment of the word will not suffice.  This discerning or hearing the word with discernment will also only come through God’s dealings with you.  For not all have ears to hear or eyes to see.  You will be held accountable to how you respond to His word given by the prophet and therefore whenever a word is spoken the only disposition can be the fear of God.  There is a transaction between the hearer of the word and God and the prophet is the speaker, but how you react to that word is not just to the speaker, but to God, the Giver of the word.  Jesus said the following in John 12.

John 12: 48

He that rejecteth me, and receiveth not my words, hath one that judgeth him: the word that I have spoken, the same shall judge him in the last day.

And now lastly I will speak to the intercessors.

I will also speak on what I believe Father is revealing to me and a word that He gave.

From what you have read so far you can clearly see that prophets are not self-proclaimed, neither are they made in a day or months, but many years of preparation has gone in the making of God’s mouthpiece.  We also know that they are not perfect, but that they are being held to a very high standard because every word has weight to it.  In fact, words in themselves are important to them.  Life and death lies within the power of the tongue.  And so Father has to deal with all their categories and they have to die to all these categories.  The reason for this is that out of the heart flows the issues of life.  And so any undealt with issues are bound to taint or influence interpretation and the hearing of the word.  Having said that, God has indeed prepared in the background the prophets that He will send out at His appointed time.  In the hidden years the prophet has learned to hear His still small voice.  This coming time period is a period of great onslaught against the Church.  Her foundations have been under attack for many years and she is on dangerous grounds so to speak.  The Word says that the foundation of the Church is built on the apostles and prophets.  Both these offices He has been restoring, but not in the open, but in the hidden places of the lives of ordinary people, the housewife, the janitor, the builder.  Those who do not necessarily carry away the approval of society as one to take note of when they speak.  They have been in the background and has been ministering to those whom He has sent on their way.  To the world unknown.  The Church’s foundation has to be rebuilt again and this can only be done by those whom He has prepared.  Those He raised up at the first to call people to repentance from the beginning...the prophets. The restoration of the prophetic as He has always intended it to be.  The unadulterated prophetic word given by the unadulterated prophet.  That which was at the first to be again at the last.  For the restoration of the prophets and the apostolic is the beginning of the restoration of all things.  For in the speaking is the creating, the word in its power has to go forth again.  And so He will call these prophets out for this very purpose, to restore the foundation that was laid.  The foundation laid by the prophets of old which is repentance, salvation and judgment.  The building of the Kingdom of God.  So the call is not to a singular prophet, but a corporate end time body declaring, “Thus saith the Lord…and it shall be.”  Not just in speaking, but also in being.  And so of necessity in the last age, the true prophet has to be restored to overthrow and kill the false prophets of Baal driven by the present Jezebel spirit that will control this whole world.  It is in an epic showdown of prophets and who is sufficient for these things other than those whom He has prepared. The same Spirit that was in Elijah is the same Spirit that will overcome again. Therefore God has to make the man/woman of the same character. The foundation of any office is the character of that person. 

Having said all that and taking into consideration the devotional as a whole, the call on intercessors to pray for these prophets and apostles that He has hidden and soon to be released, cannot be stressed enough.  To pray for the final preparations and that which needs to be worked out in them to be completed. That they will endure that which God subjects them to and be willing to die in all their categories. That they will not fear man but fear God.  Because even though a great honor to be used by God for this end time purpose, the cost will be huge, and should not be expected to be any less than the prophets of old, as their type and shadow.  The greater the glory, the greater the cost.

Philippians 1: 29

29 For unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for his sake;

1 Kings 18: 1 - 4

And it came to pass after many days, that the word of the Lord came to Elijah in the third year, saying, Go, shew thyself unto Ahab; and I will send rain upon the earth.

And Elijah went to shew himself unto Ahab. And there was a sore famine in Samaria.

And Ahab called Obadiah, which was the governor of his house. (Now Obadiah feared the Lord greatly:

For it was so, when Jezebel cut off the prophets of the Lord, that Obadiah took an hundred prophets, and hid them by fifty in a cave, and fed them with bread and water.)

Here Obadiah, which means servant of the Lord, is a type and shadow of the Holy Spirit who hides the true prophets of God in caves, that is to say in the dark, where they live from meat and water.  Jesus said, My meat is to do the will of the Father.  Obedience. The water is a symbol of the Holy Spirit and provision of God.  And so we read in the next chapter of Elijah hiding in a cave wanting to die, feeling that he alone was left.  He too was fed with meat and water in the cave. 

God has shown us in history that He preserves His true prophets and contrary to popular believe there are not many of them. But He has hid them in the shadow of His wings.  And so in this last age, He has been doing it again and will release them for His end-time purpose as the same battle will be fought in the Spirit on a world wide scale. 

Here is the word I received from Father regarding those who pray for the prophets and end-time workers.

I have preserved My prophets for this time.  Those I have prepared in secret.  They will come at the appointed time and their words will not fall to the ground.  For judgment will be on those who despise My holy word written on their hearts and so also the judgment of those false prophets who spoke such vain words to deceive My people. 

I have preserved them for such a time as this to be My oracles.  They will suffer many things on My behalf, but for this I have prepared them in secret.  Take heed therefore to who you listen to, for the tickling of your ear is the indictment against the idols of your heart.  Those who hear their words shall be saved, but those who come against them will suffer the consequences spoken.  Many have cried for these true prophets to come forth and this is My answer to those prayers.  Those who desire true prophets will receive the prophets reward.

Please Read

Jeremiah 23

Monday, April 12, 2021




As we grow in the Lord and abandon ourselves to Him completely, so He can trust us with more and reveal more.  It is His desire to share His heart with us and so in His mercy and grace, He works in us that which is most needed…faithfulness.  To do this He has to take us through various trials and test our faith.  Not just faith, the faith to believe and trust in Him, but faithfulness, that which endures.  The Word says that faith worketh by love, and so this faithfulness does too. 

I have of late been having some new experiences in the Lord that takes some getting used to.  As I have grown in the Lord my conscience and spirit becomes very sensitive to the slightest feelings, or impressions on my heart.  Where usually I would feel a mild discomfort when something is wrong in the spirit, I will now be so overwhelmed that it disrupts me completely and forces me to deal with it.  So what are these new sensitivities He has been subjecting me to?

This devotional is actually birthed out of such an experience and I believe He wants me to share it for the purpose of sharing His heart.  I was on a fast for a long time and the first half of the fast was a death like no other.  Indeed He brought me to ashes and I spent about 13 days in tears and heart wrenching crying before Him as He showed me the heart of iniquity.  The wickedness of man’s heart and I felt like Job saying I abhor myself and repent in dust and ashes.  But about four days later I noticed new life in me, for I was dead and frankly did not expect to be raised to new life again, at least not so soon.  Something new was happening in my innermost being and I found myself in new territory so to speak.  A sense of fullness, peace and love has been my reality since then and has never left me.  I have entered into His rest, and that rest is more than just a state of being…it is a Person.  He is our Sabbath Rest.  Interestingly enough the Word says in Hebrews that we are to labor to enter into this Rest, after we have ceased from our own works.


Hebrews 4: 10 - 11

10 For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his.

11 Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief.

So to enter into His rest we have to labor?  That almost does not make sense, but the reality is that this laboring, is actually to cease from our own works.  And as I have discussed so many times before, this is what the wilderness years are for.  It is in the wilderness we labor because there we learn to walk by faith and how to cease from our works, by abandoning them, but also to abandon ourselves to Him.  The name of the game is SURRENDER.  But this is very hard work, because it is part of the sinful nature to lean and depend on our own understanding, even spiritual understanding, and it takes very long to cease from every single work.  He has to show us and with each “showing”, we have to get to work in dying to that particular “work”.  One can describe Hebrews 4: 10 – 11 in Matthew 11.

Matthew 11: 28 - 30

28 Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Our works and labor make us heavy laden, but He desires to give us rest.  This rest is to no longer walk by faith, but live by faith.  This only comes as we take up His yoke upon ourselves, because with His yoke, comes rest.  Which is to walk together with Him in the same yoke.  Whilst in the desert we are actually learning to remove our yoke and give it to Him, and when we have taken it off completely, He gives us His yoke.  Logically we cannot wear two yokes at the same time, for the word clearly says in Amos 3:3 “how can two walk together unless they agree?”  This is not to say that He does not teach us about His yoke and rest.  The difference is knowing about it and entering into it.  There is rest for our souls in His yoke, and heavy laden in ours.  So what is His yoke then?  Have you ever wondered about that?  I’m going off on a limb here and I am going to say it is His love.  And with His love, being as multifaceted as the whole of the color spectrum, it has multiple sides and colors like a beautiful diamond.  We will never be able to exhaust it.  I have after 34 years of serving the Lord finally entered into His rest.  And the first dimension of His yoke He has placed on me is this new impressions that I have become so super sensitive to. 

I’ll be honest, in this place of rest, which is Him, I have felt an even greater rift between myself and people.  Now in explaining this to you, is the purpose of giving you understanding that when you abandon yourself to Him completely, you abandon yourself from others completely as well.  This does not mean you become a hermit and do not have anything to do with anybody else. Truth be told you are used even more by Him, but it is now He that lives through you.  However, in the spirit, there is a greater gulf than ever before, because formerly you were still standing on the shore of life with your friends, but now you have left the safety of the shores of the familiar, where you were still in control, into the depths of the sea.  No longer a footing, but entering into the depths of God.  Deeper and deeper.  Those on the shore are not experiencing what you are experiencing.  You have left the shores and having to explain this to them becomes painfully obvious to you that there is no way that you could ever do so in a way that they will truly know.  Only the Spirit can reveal this and desires to do so.  But what happens with this inability to explain yourself and your experience in the Lord, is that you have a deep sense of being misunderstood and very alone.  You can share your heart, but it is always in part.  Before you were alone amongst them, but now you do not even feel as if you are amongst them anymore.  By no means do you see yourself as better, because your heart’s desire is that they would be awaken to this reality and know that this abandonment to Him is worth a thousand deaths.  And yet, you are unable to explain the depth, height, width and length of this love, which is His rest, and His fullness.  Paul prayed this over the Ephesians, because this was his reality.  Listen to the words and pay attention to the deeper meanings of His rest.

Ephesians 3: 17 - 19

17 That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,

18 May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;

19 And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.


Did you know that He wants to fill you with His fullness?  This fullness is His rest, because the fullness of God is His all sufficiency in you.  You are in His sufficiency and all your needs are met in Him as He is in His fullness in you.  This sufficiency is His love, healing, power, wisdom…all of Him and therefore His rest.

Jesus even told His disciples that there were many things that He wanted to tell them, but that they were unable to receive it.  And so the misunderstanding, creates a loneliness of a different kind, not because you are actually alone.  I know people love me and I love them too.  The reality is that this is a new normal, because as I progress into Him, the greater the gulf.  It is a new way of being that I somehow have to learn to slot into.  No attachment to anything anymore, completely cut off.  I can see Enoch who walked with God, or John the Baptist and Elijah being these strange men that lived their lives before the audience of One. 

And so this new experience caused me yesterday to wake up with such a sadness.  My heart felt wounded.  The whole morning I walked around like this and I could not understand why I felt so deeply wounded and broken.  And then it dawned on me that of late He has allowed me to become more sensitive not to what I feel, but what He feels.  Totally different ball game!  I then asked Him why I was feeling this way.  What is He showing me?  As I was going about my morning, he showed me that what I was feeling, is what He feels.  That He was impressing on me His suffering of not being understood, of being alone, of not being truly loved.  And it dawned on me that this was a different sharing in His suffering.  Before the sharing I had in His suffering was by my own suffering, whether by rejection, abuse, not being loved, etc.  But this was different, He was allowing me to feel His own personal suffering.  I was sharing in His suffering as He suffers, even now.  He is still the man of sorrows.  Not that He has no joy or that I do not have any joy, but the life He lived here came with immense loneliness and sorrow of heart.  I should have known that this was what He was doing in me when I saw the heading of a video on YouTube which I completely passed by.   The heading was “I can feel your broken heart”.  I remember thinking that I cannot watch this, because it will be too much for me to endure, and little did I know that He was showing and sharing with me His broken heart already. 

 We do not share our hearts just with anyone, and the truth is, “Why should He?”  We all have friends that are merely acquaintances, those we speak to only on our birthdays, or at a social event.  Then there are those friends we have known for years and have even gone on holiday with.  And lastly, there is that one friend that knows your deepest darkest secrets, your face without make up so to speak, and cries with you and will get up in the middle of the night to be with you.  That friend where you do not have to pretend or keep face.  You can let your guard down, because you trust them enough to be vulnerable with them.  Jesus had these three types of friends.  In John 6 we read that He had many “followers”, but after hearing some hard words that they were unable to digest, they all turned around and left Him.  Those who stayed with Him was His disciples.  They knew that He had the words of life.  But then we find 3 of His disciples that went with Him to the Mount of Transfiguration, John, Peter and James.  The circle just kept on getting smaller and smaller.  But John was known by a very special name.  He was called “The disciple the Lord loved”.  He was also the one to be found on the bosom of the Lord at the last supper.  His proximity to Him was indeed very close, so much so that as a grown man, he laid his head on His bosom.  In Afrikaans you have a word describing a very close friend, which is the word “boesemvriend”.  And that is exactly what it means…a friend of the heart.  And to this great man of God was given the Revelation of the End of Days.  John was His friend…His very close friend.  It was not just that John was Jesus’ friend, but that Jesus was his friend.  Trust lies at the heart of true friendship.  Can I trust you? 

This made me think of the human side of our Savior, as the Son of Man.  How He still desires those friends with whom He can share His heart.  Such a friend is He.  He shares His heart…he shares His heart.  The trust that He has to have in anyone to be willing to do this, is not borne out of the fact that He loves them.  Because He loves all His children.  But He does not trust all His children.  No matter how we would like to spin this, the question remains, “Can He trust me enough to share His heart with me?”  And this is the whole point of exchanging our yoke for His yoke.  Because in laying down our yoke, our faith is tried and with it faithfulness is birthed to the extend that He starts to share the deeper things of His heart.  Are you allowing Him by your life of abandonment and surrender in obedience to Him, to make you this friend He can trust?

Jesus said to His disciples in John 15 that He no longer calls them servants because the servants do not know what the master wants, but He calls them friends.  His friends know what He wants.  Before you can become a friend of God, an intimate friend of God, you have to live the life of a servant.  You have to become nothing.  Servants have one aim only…to serve their master in obedience.  A life of obedience upon obedience, is a life in which faithfulness to the One who is faithful and true is forged after trial after trial.  For the testing of our faith brings us to that place of perfection, where we lack nothing.  This is His rest.  In His rest there is no lack. 

James 1: 2 – 4

My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;

Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.

But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

Moses was called a friend of God.  We read the following in Exodus 33.

Exodus 33: 11

And the Lord spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend. And he turned again into the camp: but his servant Joshua, the son of Nun, a young man, departed not out of the tabernacle.

He spoke to him face to face, and yet when you read further you read something of great significance.  “He turned again into the camp”.  At first we would see this as merely Moses going into the camp and continuing with life, so to speak.  But the next sentence tells us more.  BUT, his servant Joshua, the son of Nun, a young man, departed not out of the tabernacle! Firstly, Joshua was his servant.  The first requirement, which is to serve.  And then we read the difference between Moses and Joshua.  Moses went back to the camp, but Joshua departed not out of the tabernacle.  Moses was also the one who through his disobedience, which is unbelief according to the Word, not allowed to enter into the Promised Land.  You see, it does not matter what amazing experiences you have had with the Lord, even as Moses had the miracles that happened in Egypt, the parting of the Red Sea, the miracles in the wilderness, not to mention the 10 commandments up in Mount Zion.  What matters is our faithfulness towards Him.  As God’s friend, Moses failed Him.  I suspect that the reason for this failure was the fact that he went into the camp again and that the murmuring and ridicule of the people wore him down.  He ended up striking the Rock twice. And he was only to speak to the Rock, once.  Moses gave in to his anger and the demands of the people.  The noise of the people drowned the still small voice of God. 

I do not think that the words in Exodus 33: 11 is said for nothing.  There is a clear distinction made that should have our consideration.  Like John, and so with Joshua, proximity is of the issue.  Are you leaving the tabernacle or do you abide?  Are you living your life from without or within?  Are you faithful as His servant never to leave His side?  Those who abide in the secret of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty (Psalm 91: 1). 

Psalm 25 14

The secret of the Lord is with them that fear Him, and He will shew them his covenant.

This word “secret” is the Strong’s word, H5475, meaning company of persons in close deliberation, by implication intimacy, consultation, a secret, assembly, counsel, inward, secret.

From this we see that whatever the sharing, it is not for everyone’s ear or heart.  And in essence we can also reflect on what the cost is of our disobedience and unfaithfulness.  Our God is holy, and yet in His holiness, as the Son of Man, He desires to share His heart with His friends.  Did He stop to be the Son of Man and the Man of Sorrows?  Has He stopped mourning the loss of souls to eternal damnation?  Has He stopped His righteous indignation over the abused and lost, even the animals?  He is still the Man of Sorrows, and it is with His friends He shares in secret counsel.  Those who do not depart out of the tabernacle. 

So let us then with our whole heart and being lay aside those sins that causes us to be tripped along the way.  Those sins that causes us to lose focus.  Let us once again depart from the camp, and stay in the tabernacle, in the secret place, for it is there where He will speak to us in due time.  There He will show us the hidden and deep things of God.

I end this devotional with a quote from Madam Guyon regarding abandonment and revelation.  She says…

“Abandonment is the means that the Lord will use to give you revelation.  The revelation you receive will come to you as reality rather than knowledge.  This is made possible only by abandonment.  You must remember to whom it is you are abandoning yourself.  It is the Lord Jesus that you abandon yourself.  As revelation comes to you, something happens; Jesus Christ actually makes an imprint of Himself upon your soul.  Each time He comes to you, He leaves a new and different impression of His nature upon you.

Soon there are many different expressions of His nature impressed into your being.

Paul did not ponder the sufferings of Christ; he did not consider the marks of suffering on the Lord’s body.  Instead, Paul bore in his own body the experiences of his Lord.  He even said, “I bear in my body the marks of Jesus Christ” (Galatians 6: 17).  Did he do so by considering such marks?  No.  Jesus Christ had personally imprinted Himself upon Paul. 

When the Lord finds a believer who is completely abandoned to Him in all things without and in all things within, He will often choose to give that person special revelations of His nature.  If such should be your experience, accept these revelations with a thankful heart. 

Always receive everything from Him with a thankful heart, no matter what it is He chooses to bestow.”

Philippians 1: 29

For unto you it is given on behalf of Christ, not only to believe on Him, but also to suffer for His sake.

Romans 8: 17

...if so it be that we suffer with Him, that we may be also glorified together.