In this teaching I will be speaking about and building upon two dreams I have interpreted for Sister Donna. The first is the “Tree of Lights” dream that had to do with the gifts of the Holy Spirit that people covet rather than seeking His face, and also the persecution that comes to those who actually are called by God. The second dream was where she was flipping the tables like Jesus, and there were big coins on the tables that represent people trafficking the gifts of God. Then there is also a part about the coming persecution where she mentions the black horse rider and the famine. I think it is quite important that if you haven’t yet watched my videos for these two interpretations that you watch them even before you read this. Also in this teaching I will be speaking about two visions and three dreams that Father has given me, one dream of which is from someone else.
So, why does Father speak in dreams and visions and not just give it to us straight? Not everyone receives dreams and visions, and that’s okay. But for some, He does give them. We need to ask why, and why not just tell us plainly that we may know. I think one of the reasons is the same reason why Yeshua spoke in parables. He told His disciples in John 16:12, “I have yet many things to say unto you, but ye cannot bear them now.”
Sometimes He gives us dreams and visions because it forms a picture in our mind. For example, when I say “apple”, most people immediately see in their mind’s eye an apple. In dreams and visions, there are multiple layers and dimensions. Sometimes it can be about one thing specifically, but often it means multiple things. There is a lot of depth with regard to dreams and visions, and a lot of things can be said and revealed. Just think of the book of Revelation and the symbolic meanings of everything. Mostly dreams and visions are symbolic; not 100% of the time, but mostly they are symbolic. The saying is, “A picture is worth a thousand words”; the same with dreams and visions as they also carry a thousand words, so to speak. The Father says much to us through this gift of dreams and visions.
In this teaching, I will also give a word that Father has given me that sums up His heart and intention and exhortation to us; therefore, may we have an ear to hear what He is saying in this teaching. I will be shooting straight in this teaching. I have been judged by Father by the very word that I will be sharing, so I pray you will hear what He has to say.
Are you sabotaging your calling?
Let’s go to scripture now and focus on one in particular that forms the base foundation for this teaching. We will start in James 1:2.
JAMES 1
2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
James starts by addressing our faith that needs to be tested. He said the way it is tested is by diverse temptations. These diverse temptations are both trials and temptations. Both of them try our faith. But then he tells us that we need to have patience. This word in the Strong’s Concordance means endurance, to be fortified, to see it through, don’t give up in that time when you are going through divers temptations. He says that we have to allow patience to have her perfect work in us. In other words, it’s a process until it reaches its perfection. So every trial and temptation is working something in you, but you have to endure so that patience will have her perfect work in you. That perfect work will bring forth you made perfect, you made entire, and you wanting nothing. That is something worth enduring, isn’t it?
The words “wanting nothing” in the above scripture drew my attention to Psalm 34. This is because at the heart of it, He wants us to be in that place where His work in us will bring us to lack nothing, and we will want nothing. That will be because He is our source. So now let’s go to Psalm 34 and read what it says there, beginning in verse 9.
PSALM 34
9 O FEAR THE LORD, ye his saints: for there is no want to them that fear him.
10 The young lions do lack, and suffer hunger: but they that seek the Lord shall not want any good thing.
11 Come, YE CHILDREN, hearken unto me: I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
12 What man is he that desireth LIFE, and loveth many days, that he may see good?
13 Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile.
14 Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it.
In verse 9, we immediately see that what this patience is working in you is the fear of God. And when He has perfected that in you, you will want nothing. Verse 10 says, “The young lions do lack, and suffer hunger: but they that seek the Lord shall not want any good thing.” Then it says in verse 11, “Come ye children, hearken unto me, and I will teach you the fear of the Lord.” So, the first thing we need to realize is that when our faith is tested and tried, we have to allow patience to have its perfect work in us, so we will want nothing. And what it is working in us is the fear of God. And here David says, “Come ye children…. and I will teach you the fear of God”. So what is the fear of God?
In verse 12 he says, “What man is he that desireth life and loveth many days, that he may see good. Keep thy tongue from evil and thy lips from speaking guile. Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it.” So here he is saying, “If you want to know what the fear of the Lord is, then you need to come as a child, and then I will teach you.” Then he begins to discuss the issue of guile. Evidently, the fear of God is vitally linked to our lips and what we confess and speak, and whether there is guile on our lips or not.
Now let’s build upon that and go to Psalm 32.
PSALM 32
2 Blessed is the man unto whom the Lord imputeth not iniquity, and in whose spirit there is NO guile.
9 Be ye not as the horse, or as the mule, which have no understanding: WHOSE MOUTH must be held in with bit and bridle, lest they come near unto thee.
The first thing we see here in verse 2 is, “… in whose spirit there is no guile”. Guile reaches down to the spirit. We are spirit, we have a soul, and we live in a body. So this guile is not just some general sin; it is to the very root of who you are. That is where it is seated. The Lord is saying here that He is seeking those who will not speak with guile and who will not have any guile within their heart or in their spirit. Verse 9 addresses the mouth. Remember that in my devotional, “Two Johns and a Jezebel”, I showed through scripture, referencing Issachar, how the priests of the Lord are referred to as His donkeys or His mules. And here He is speaking to those priests, those who have a calling on their lives, saying, “Be not as the horse or the mule which have no understanding, whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle, lest they come near unto thee.” It’s as if He wants to say, “I don’t want to always have to manipulate your mouth and cause you to shut up, because you do not have an understanding of what guile there is in your heart; but rather I would want you know my every move as I sit on you being my workhorse and worker to know which direction I want you to move in. Don’t be stubborn and want to go in your own direction.” As we always say, we can be “stubborn as a mule”.
You can see the reference of this guilelessness in Revelation 14, where it references the 144,000 who are without guile. We also see Nathaniel in John 1:47 when Yeshua found him under the fig tree and said to him, “Behold, indeed an Israelite, in whom is no guile”. Here we have two examples of the 144,000. These are said to be virgins, so they are pure, they are innocent, and they are as lambs; they are as children… innocent.
Before I go on, I want to talk about the dream that Father gave to me about eight years ago when He spoke to me about the calling on my life. Please take careful notice of the interpretation and how it may apply to you. Herewith the dream:
DREAM OF EAGLE
I was standing in a bedroom. As I looked down the hallway, I could see Yeshua approaching me, wearing what looked like a light brown robe, but I could not see His face. I then noticed a tiny black spider in the corner of the bedroom ceiling. I tried to kill it with a broom, but to no avail. Next, I was standing next to Yeshua, and I saw Him holding an eagle in his hands. However, this eagle, although having all the features of a fully grown eagle, was so small that it could fit in His hand. Next to us, to my right, I saw an American Bald Eagle in a glass showcase. What caught my attention was the exaggerated size of his eye looking straight at us; the eye was almost as big as a small saucer. The next moment, Yeshua took this little eagle and broke its neck. I could hear the sound of the neck breaking. It felt like it went through me. Then He placed the small eagle on the table, and with its neck broken, I could see yellow bile coming out of his mouth. End of dream.
Interpretation:
This dream is about the calling upon my life. An eagle has 20/20 vision and points to the ability to see or discern in the spirit. Yeshua dressed in the light brown robe points to sackcloth and being humble of spirit. The spider is pointing to guile. It was particularly small to show me that this is not easily noted within the heart, which is represented by my bedroom. The small eagle has all the right features of a grown eagle, but in truth is anaemic and sick, and there is no hope for it. It has to die. It has been poisoned by the small spider. The bile coming out is a play on words, as bile points to guile. It comes out of the mouth of the small eagle, showing the guile found in the gift and office given. Unless He deals with it, that which is in the glass showcase, the 20/20 vision, represented by the exaggerated eye, will not be mine. The showcase is to show me what He has purposed for my life. It will remain only a showpiece, unless He breaks the neck of the small eagle, that is to say, remove all guile from my mouth.
Now let’s look at Obadiah 1:3-4.
OBADIAH 1
3 The pride of thine heart hath deceived thee, thou that dwellest in the clefts of the rock, whose habitation is high; that saith in his heart, Who shall bring me down to the ground?
4 Though thou exalt thyself as the eagle, and though thou set thy nest among the stars, hence will I bring thee down, saith the Lord.
What we’ve discussed so far is James 1 where he talks in the first three verses about our faith being tried and that we need to have patience, because patience will bring us to that place of wanting nothing. Then our wanting nothing points to the fear of God, which is that of not having any guile on our lips or in our spirit. And this is why the dream was given to me, specifically regarding my calling. Obadiah 1 confirms what was shown in my dream and ties back to James 1.
Now we will go back to James 1 and continue with verse 5.
JAMES 1
5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.
7 For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.
8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.
First, we have James discussing faith that is fortified and strengthened, and then he addresses faith that is weak, that is double-minded, like a wave of the sea tossed to and fro. Taking into context what we are talking about in this teaching, let’s ask again… are you sabotaging the call upon your life?
Continuing now with verse 9.
JAMES 1
9 Let the brother of LOW DEGREE rejoice in that he is exalted:
10 But THE RICH, in that he is made low: because as the flower of the grass he shall pass away.
12 Blessed is the man that endureth TEMPTATION: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.
Remember, the temptation comes through trials and being tempted by the enemy. It’s not the Lord who tempts us. We will discuss how this happens a bit later in the teaching.
Let’s now look at the three points discussed in these verses, because they are a key part of what I will be sharing in this teaching:
The man of low degree
The rich
Temptation
We will now skip to verse 17.
JAMES 1
17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.
The first thing to notice here is the first two words: every good gift and every perfect gift. Evidently, there is a difference between the good gift and the perfect gift. He is working towards perfection. Remember in my dream, there was the small eagle that had all the features of the grown eagle but instead was anaemic and small, versus the full-grown eagle displayed in the showcase. Here we have a good gift and a perfect gift. When we look in the Strong’s, the good gift is just a normal gift that is given, but the perfect gift is one that is bestowed on someone, meaning the person has reached a point of honour and maturity in the Lord so that it is bestowed on them. Father wants to perfect the gifts He has given us, but He has to deal with the guile.
Our Father is mentioned in this scripture as the “Father of Lights”, and we are called the “children of light”. We are from the Father of Lights, and those lights are the gifts that He gives us. As His children of light, we have light. We don’t just have the light in us, but He has given us gifts that are as light unto the world.
Matthew 5:5-16 says:
MATTHEW 5
15 Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.
16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
We have the light within us and the light of the gifts and calling upon our lives. This is why He says, don’t hide it under a bushel; let it shine! Then when people see it, they will glorify me. They will see your good works as light. This Father of Lights has no variableness in Him and no shadow of turning. No variableness is in contrast to the faith that is wavering and is double-minded. He is in contrast to that; He says I am faithful, and I never change. I am not one way one day and the next day something else. I am not like your earthly fathers who have proven to you often that you cannot trust them. I am not like them; I am who I say I am. I am faithful and true, and I am the Father of Lights, and there is no shadow of turning in me. A shadow turns as the sun moves. He says, I am the Father of Lights, I am the true Tree of Light who gives gifts of light to my children. I do not change, and you can trust me.
This light is a (1) state of being. We are the children of light, focusing on children again – innocent and without guile. That tells you something… that if there is guile in your heart, how will this light of the gift He’s given you shine then? These gifts of light are the (2) talents you possess or the gifts of the Spirit. The light is also your (3) good works, which is the administration, office, or ministry He’s given to you in whatever form He’s given it to you.
In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul talks about the gifts of administration starting in verse 4.
1 CORINTHIANS 12
4 Now there are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit.
5 And there are differences of administrations, but the same Lord.
6 And there are diversities of operations, but it is the same God which worketh all in all.
7 But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to every man to profit withal.
8 For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit;
9 To another faith by the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit;
10 To another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; to another divers kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues:
11 But all these worketh that one and the selfsame Spirit, dividing to every man severally as he will.
In verse 5, it speaks of the different administrations. This is referring to the different offices, or the five-fold ministry of apostle, prophet, evangelist, pastor, and teacher. Verse 6 mentions the different operations, and this refers to the different gifts. The different administrations are given different gifts in which to operate. A prophet often has dreams and visions like Joseph and Daniel, but not all prophets did. Then we have teachers, who receive revelations of the word broken down for them, so they are given wisdom and knowledge. The different administrations are given different gifts to minister to the body, because it is one body. Verse 7 tells us that we all have the Spirit of God given to us as believers and He decides who gets what.
Someone recently asked me how I received the gift of interpretation of dreams. I didn’t answer directly but answered with the question, “What are you going to do with it once you know?”. Ultimately, if you do not understand what you are called to, you can easily ask for things that are not necessarily in alignment with your call and what is needed. That can divert you into a direction that is not the direction the Father wants you to go. We can ask for gifts, because He wants to give us gifts, but He knows what we need for our call. So you can ask Him, and then let it be and trust Him to give to you what you need.
I would like to now share a vision that I had about something that was very far from my mind. I was in prayer and worship, and the vision came. Evidently this was on Father’s heart and was purposed for this teaching.
VISION OF OPEN BOOK
In this vision I saw an open book before me. Yeshua was paging through the book. I asked, “Is this my book?” He gave no answer. Then I saw Him tearing a page out of the book, and He threw it on the floor. This saddened me. He turned the pages and came to another page and tore it out as well. He did this a few times. I then saw Him taking the pages and lining it up with the tear that was made in the book. Next I saw Him picking up one of these pages that was torn out, and He took see-through tape and aligned it to the tear, so the page was taped back together. However, I could still see the tear in the page. Then He took another page and did the same, and I could still see the tear on that page as well. This saddened me very much.
He then said the following to me, “Such is My children who do not believe that I will stay true to My promises. They reach a point in waiting and when they do not see it coming, they simply tear it out of their book. They then lean on their own understanding and try to patch it up by going to someone else. However, the tear is clearly seen in their book. I am the giver of all good gifts. I, who am the Author and Finisher of their faith, who have written their book, they do not believe.
At the end of the vision, I then saw one teardrop fall on the torn page in the book and knew that this saddens Him greatly.
Later when I read over this vision again, I noticed that tears and tear are spelled the same way. I just wondered how many tears He cries over our books because we do not believe Him that He actually wants to give us promises and gifts and bless us. Because He is the Father of Lights.
Psalm 34:11 says, “Come ye children…”, as in come, be innocent. What do we know about children? We know children to be gullible; they believe anything you tell them. He is saying, “Come to me like this, as a child, and believe me, and be innocent and without guile when you come.” The enemy caught on to this quite early. There is a saying, “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world”. The enemy knew that he must get to the children in order to influence the whole generation. And once one generation is influenced, it will snowball down to the succeeding generations afterwards. He knows if he can scar or tear in a book of a child’s life, if he can write on the pages of a child’s life through abuse, slander, rejection; if he can write on it, he can cause them to believe anything he says because he wrote in their book. He writes in our children’s books, and he has written in many of our books, and we believe what he has written.
In Luke 11, Yeshua says we are to be as cunning as snakes and as innocent as doves. Right after that He says He will send us out as lambs against wolves. Once again, lambs as baby sheep, points again to innocence. A dove is also seen as innocent, so we must consider the fact that He is telling us to be innocent. Then in Isaiah 53, Yeshua is said to have gone before the shearers as dumb as a lamb. He didn’t speak. Later on in Isaiah 53 it is said that no guile was found on His lips.
The recent warnings that have been going out all tie to what we are discussing. We are being sent out as lambs amongst wolves, we are to be innocent, similar to children in purity. Also, the Tree of Lights, the Father of Lights, is saying to us that we need to go to Him who has the true gifts, and there will be deception in the time coming where people will flock to false signs and wonders, because they have not gone to the true Tree of Lights. They are leaning on their own understanding, tearing the page out of their book, and are turning to other people to see what they can teach them about the gifts and asking how can I get these gifts, and what do I have to pay or what course can I take to get this gift or get this calling. With the Flipping the Tables dream, it talked about those who are envious and anemic in their calling, like the small eagle from my vision, and then they start to persecute those who have truly received the call and who are mature in their walk with the Lord. These are very grave warnings for the time we are going into that we need to take note of.
Now let’s look at Matthew 6.
MATTHEW 6
19 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:
20 But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
In the Flipping the Tables dream by Sister Donna there were a lot of gold coins and it represented the trafficking of spiritual gifts; and I also mentioned in the interpretation this specific verse that says we are to have treasures in heaven. This is because in the time to come, there will not only be a famine of physical things, the black horse rider, but there will also be a famine of the Word of God. Also mentioned is that we are to have a bank, or stored up treasures in heaven. I looked up the word “treasure”, and it is G2344, and interestingly enough, it means the word “thesaurus”. It means “a coffer, casket in which valuables are kept, a treasury, a deposit, wealth, a storehouse”. It is talking about the treasure in heaven. Considering that He says for us to lay up treasures in heaven, and treasure means “thesaurus”, I wanted to look up this word as well. “Thesaurus” means a book of words of information about the particular field or set of concepts, a treasury, a storehouse (Webster’s Dictionary).
I would like to now share a vision I had back in February 2022, and you will see how this correlates with the treasure in heaven and this word “thesaurus”.
VISION OF LITTLE GIRL AND TEDDY BEAR
I saw myself walking what looked like a heavenly corridor that was leading to two very big brown oak doors. They had brass or gold round handles. These doors were very big. I noticed a red carpet and the moment my feet touched it, I saw knees right alongside me. I looked up and saw on either side of the red-carpet angels dressed in armour, kneeling, each with a lance, bowing their heads and on one knee. I remember that one had long blond hair, but I could not make out their faces, as their heads were bowed. They were very tall, so tall that my head only reached their knees. It was then that I realized that I was a young child in this vision. The next moment I saw a hand reach out to me, and as I took Yeshua’s hand, He guided me to these two brown oak doors. I also noticed that I was holding my teddy bear. I felt incredibly safe as He was guiding me and noticed the reverence the angels had towards Him. As we entered through these doors, it was dark. I was only to see that which He wanted me to see. I instantly knew that I was in the treasure room, noting a treasure chest made of gold and precious stones. I then asked Yeshua, “What is in it?”, wanting to know what the treasures in heaven are. As He opened it, I saw the whole chest full of scrolls. I asked Him, “What are the scrolls?” He said, “We keep a record of everything you have given up for the Kingdom.” And I saw other treasure chests, knowing that these are for His other children. Instinctively I knew that not all would get the same treasures. It was then that Yeshua reminded me of Luke 18, saying…
LUKE 18
29 … Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or parents, or brethren, or wife, or children, for the kingdom of God's sake,
30 Who shall not receive manifold more in this present time, and in the world to come, life everlasting. (Psalm 34)
And you will remember that earlier I quoted Psalm 34:12 where it says, “What man is he that desireth life, and loveth many days, that he may see good?” That desiring life is not just to be able to breathe, it is life; it is He who IS life. What man is there who wants this life and to live many days? Yeshua is saying in Luke 18:30, “Who shall not receive manifold more in this present time”, that resurrection life, “and in the world to come, life everlasting”… if you have that treasure in heaven, if there is a thesaurus in your treasure chest that has recorded everything that you have given up for the kingdom of God. Obviously, the scrolls in my vision represent the thesaurus.
LUKE 18
15 And they brought unto him also infants, that he would touch them: but when his disciples saw it, they rebuked them.
16 But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.
17 Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein.
With regard to verse 16, note that in my vision, I was a little girl with a teddy bear. That teddy bear represents the gifts of the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit who is my comforter. In verse 17, He is addressing faith and that we must come to Him as little children without wavering. There is no guile within a child’s heart; it is faith perfected.
In these two visions, the first one shows us the heart of the Father of Lights, Yeshua, as He cries over those torn pages that represent the unbelief of His children who do not come as children to Him and do not believe that He wants to bless them and has called them. Then in the second vision, we see through the thesaurus, He makes a record of everything we have given. It’s as if He is saying to us, “It not only saddens me when you don’t believe, but I want you to understand that I have a record of everything that you have given up and I will reward you.” Just as it says in Psalm 34:10, “… but they that seek the Lord shall not want any good thing.” And in Psalm 84:11, “…no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly”.
George Mueller was known for his faith, and he was very childlike in His faith. He said that the more he matured in the Lord, the more he became like a child. Evidently, being as a child is seen as something very insignificant in this world, but in the kingdom of God, it is seen as the perfection of faith and purity of heart where there is no guile.
Just as the Father of Lights has no shadow of turning and no variableness, so He desires that in our hearts we will have no shadow of turning or no variableness and the children of light. He desires that we will truly believe Him and trust Him that He has purposed these things for us and wants to give it to us.
Let’s go back now to James 1 and discuss the three things mentioned in verses 9-10 and 12:
The man of low degree
The rich
Temptation
Starting with the man of low degree, the word says, “Let the brother of low degree rejoice in that he is exalted”. Have you ever read that verse and wondered why the brother of low degree is being told to rejoice? In those days, the gospel had been opened to slave and master and Greek and Jew. It was open to all different categories of society; there was no distinction anymore. Even later James tells the rich who want to sit in the prominent places to give it up to those who are more lowly. So those of low degree are being exalted, and James tells them to rejoice for this. The slaves still have a slave mentality, and that is still very much the case with many who have been slaves through the years. Although they have been set free, they still think like slaves and cannot rejoice in that they have been set free.
We have the slave and the master and the rich and the poor that are being addressed here. That slave mentality also applies to those who think that they should be happy with what they have and don’t think they are qualified for the gifts that only apply to the super-spiritual. They don’t think that God will use them in such a way. The Father said that He will choose and He will have mercy on whom He has mercy. Many have been called since birth and they haven’t done anything yet. The enemy comes in and writes on the book of their heart, and they start disqualifying themselves because of all the abuse or rejection or sorrow that they have endured. These people are born again, but they have a slave mentality; they are bound in their minds with strongholds, somewhat like a ball and chain they carry around with them. They begin to say things like, “I am nothing, I deserve nothing; I can do nothing”. All these things sound very pious and humble and the right thing to say; because after all, we can do nothing, we deserve nothing, and we are nothing; we are but dust. Or as it says in Psalm 103:15-16, our days are like grass, flourishing like a flower, and then the wind blows upon it and it is gone, and that place knows it no more.
At the heart of this, those who are of low degree who still have a slave mentality do not believe that God loves them the same way He loves others. Yes, they believe He loves them and they can see small ways where He has shown it, but they just can’t get to the point where they believe that He truly loves them that much. They say all the right things, and they sound humble, but deep inside they feel immensely inferior. They cover up that inferiority with a veil of false humility, which saddens the Father, because the foundation of it is a wicked heart of unbelief.
What can happen with a person of this type of low degree is that they can become passive-aggressive, meaning that they act before someone can react to them. In other words, they reject themselves before they can be rejected. They say, “I am nothing, I deserve nothing, I can do nothing”, because they believe they are already disqualified. Instead of owning up to their feelings of inferiority, they cloak it up with a religious garb hiding in the shadows not wanting to step up to that which they have been called. Again, they reject themselves before anyone else can reject them. They hide behind the lies the enemy tells them, and they do not try new things. To do a new thing is too much for them. They question their motives all the time, because they just don’t trust themselves. And when they do decide to do a new thing or start a new project, they never finish it because they are self-sabotaging. They sabotage their own actions. They have already decided in their heart and believe the lies written in their book by the enemy; they already believe it will not be a success. They disqualify themselves, and in the process, they deceive themselves.
It is never a question of whether we deserve the gifts of the Father, because none of us deserve it. The question is, who are you looking to? Are you looking at your own inability or are you looking to Him who has called you and is everything you need so that you will want no good thing. It is because of the guile in your mouth that you disqualify yourself. It speaks of your unbelief, and it saddens Him greatly. You do not hear and see as you ought, because you are still veiled by the lies of the enemy and have bought into them. You struggle to hear Him, and you struggle to see, and you struggle to discern, because you are focused on yourself, thinking you are focused on Him. You say all the right things, but secretly you struggle with the fact that you don’t hear and see as you should, and it becomes a burden unto you.
With regard to the rich man, they are brought to a low estate as they go to the opposite side of the pendulum. So, we have the low degree, those who disqualify themselves, and then we have the rich, who are on the other side of the pendulum. What is holding the pendulum in both cases is inferiority. A pendulum swings by extension, so you will find both of these characteristics if you have inferiority. In one, you will disqualify yourself or in the other, you will qualify yourself or you will boast. The pendulum, or the inferiority, is holding both, which is actually the guile within your heart causing the swing to one side or the other. Either way, it is sabotaging the call on your life.
The rich will boast on everything the Lord shows them; there is no end to their boasting. Everything has to be reported. They overcompensate and justify why they say something and why it is from the Lord. It is because they feel inferior. They compare themselves with others, yet the Word says we are not to compare ourselves with man. Secretly they are envious in their heart when they see others being used by God, because they too want to be used like that. In their heart is envy, and then slander starts to happen, and they begin to persecute those others who are being used. Sometimes they will talk about that person to someone else. The other person being used becomes like a thorn in their inferior flesh. They don’t like that person or are even “green with envy”, so to speak. They also tend to have a focus on man. When you compare yourself with man, this means that your focus is on man. They wonder, “Will I be approved, will I have subscribers, will I have likes, do I have comments?” The focus is on man’s response, so they placate to man’s desires. Or they go to the opposite side and begin to provoke and antagonize people, because then they can be seen as one who fights for the truth or one who is non-negotiable when it comes to the truth, as one who does not fear man. When in truth, the antagonizing is being used as a foundation or platform to be praised. Once again, this all points to inferiority. This person trafficks with the gifts that Father gives, the dreams and visions and other gifts, so that they can get applause and feel better about themselves.
Overall, you can get on one side where people use the gifts and callings that God has given us as a platform to get praise, and on the other side, there are those who disqualify themselves, but they want and desire these gifts and callings. These two dispositions are what will set a person up to fall for deception when the signs and wonders come from the antichrist and the false prophet, that deception that the Word says will deceive many, even the elect. These dispositions, based on the lusts and the guile in the heart, will cause many to fall away, even apart from many other fearful things that will happen.
At the heart of coveting gifts and callings is the desire to feel approved and loved and accepted. That which the enemy wrote upon the heart of those with this disposition causes the disqualification in their own minds which causes them to act the way they do. And when Father gives them gifts and callings, they then feel loved and approved and wanted; they feel they are in good standing. But the gift and calling is not an indication of your right-standing with God, because His gifts and callings are irrevocable. If He has given you a gift, then it is yours. But we must ask, Is your gift or calling being sabotaged by guile in your heart, and how much of it are you actually walking in? With the small eagle that Father showed me, He was saying that you will never walk in the fullness of that showcased eagle of what I have called you to. Instead you will forever be this small eagle, having all the features of a mature eagle or a mature calling or gift, but it will be sick and anaemic. It will not have the sense of me; it will have the sense of you.
I would like to share a dream that Mhya Duran, a friend of mine, dreamed about around the same time that Father was sharing these things with me. You will be able to see the contrast with both the disposition of Mhya and the disposition of the woman in the dream.
DREAM OF MHYA DURAN
I was watching this group of dancers, and there was a boy in a robin’s egg blue shirt dancing with such skill, such gracefulness and beautiful to watch. I walked over to some of my family and made mention of him about how great he is. Then the group of dancers starts walking to a football field and it is night time. The field lights are on, but they have walked off into a part that is enveloped in darkness. It is so dark that I lose track of them. I cannot find them anymore, but in my search for them, I come up on this neighbourhood. I came to a house in the middle of a cul de sac made of bricks. I knocked and a little girl answered. She is about 5 years old. We are talking and playing in this indoor pool that is in her house. The pool is big for a swim team and for swimming laps. It is long and rectangular, and I pretend that I am going to drop her in as she hangs onto my hands. We are both laughing. It is a fun time just playing around, and then I hear her mom come. She is about as irate as they come because I am there. She replays me on the cameras that she had in her house, and she sees me with her daughter, but without audio. It looks like I am harming her daughter and being creepy. Then she really loses it and I make it out the front door. I hear her opening the front door to see where I went, and I stop running and hide. I watch to see what she does, and she goes back into her house.
Interpretation:
This dream underscores what was just said. The dancers and the little boy speak of those given gifts and talents from the Lord, being as children. In a way, our gifts and talents are as children that we have the responsibility to look after. The boy speaks of innocence and must still grow, even though he is graceful in dancing. These dancers and boy go over to the football field. This speaks of the field of the world, and the fact that it is a football field, points to feet, which speaks of being sent out to preach the gospel. How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good tidings! Being in the dark, whilst the field lights are on speaks of not wanting any limelight on them, and Mhya losing track of them, is the whole purpose. The focus is to be God. The brick house is the house of God. The cul de sac speaks of the fact that these gifts come from out of the house of God. The 5-year-old girl speaks of grace (the no. 5) and being childlike, just like the boy in the robin’s egg blue top. Robin means famous and bright, a variant of Robert the Bruce, which means bright fame, pointing to gifts being light from the Father of lights. Herein you see how they let their light so shine that the world (football field) sees their good works and glorifies the Father in heaven.
The Olympic size pool speaks of being trained up in the Word of God, which is what the water of the pool represents. Playing with the little girl speaks of Mhya’s childlike heart, but also enjoying the gift of another. The mom clearly shows her inferiority and envy that someone dare enjoy her gift or share in the same gift. She lashes out and accuses her falsely, being very suspicious and slandering her, not having any proof (audio). She goes by what she sees, showing her inability to discern correctly, not having an ear to hear. She is unable to discern correctly what Mhya is doing, sharing in the gift of the child, and therefore she gets upset and slanders her, thinking that she is doing the work of God in protecting her daughter. This woman is represented as one out of the church, and she is slandering Mhya, with the gift, because she is incorrectly discerning based on what she is seeing. She is not hearing what God is saying. In Isaiah 11:3, it says that He will not judge after the sight of His eyes or reprove after the hearing of His ears. Mhya hiding and watching to see what she does points to being aware of those that are like her, or being on the watch for those like this within the church.
Going back to James 1 and verse 12:
JAMES 1
12 Blessed is the man that endureth TEMPTATION: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.
We talked earlier about the temptations also being trials and the difficult things we go through where our faith is brought to perfection to that of the innocence of a child, so we will want nothing and there will be no guile in our hearts. This temptation is also the enemy tempting us. Think of Joseph how he was tempted by Pharaoh's wife, who is a type of Jezebel being an adulterous woman, saying to him, “Come lay with me”. This shows us how you can be at the height of your ministry and very susceptible to being tempted, because you can feel that you can stand on your own. You may find yourself saying, “I will not fall for this obvious sin, God will keep me, this will never happen to me.” It is easy to think that you have reached that point.
On the other side, you have others who have suffered so much and endured so much, like Joseph in the prison dungeon. They begin to get weak and indulge in things, saying “I deserve this, I can give myself this”. Whether it’s the lust of the flesh or eyes or the pride of life, those three temptations never go away. When you’re at the height of your ministry, you are susceptible to this. And when you are at your lowest of being tested and tried, you are also susceptible, because you want to be lenient with yourself and give your soul a break. After all, you have endured so much. Then you will open up that can of worms and eat it, and you will embrace depression. You will see this as your comfort blanket, and no one will be able to point a finger at you and tell you to snap out of it. You will feel this is not reasonable since you have gone through so much. But everyone goes through difficult times, and some extreme, and for all there comes a point when you say, “I am taking off this blanket, because I am sabotaging myself and the call of God on my life. The same goes for those who think they stand lest they fall, just as the Word says, “pride comes before a fall”. Father shared a pearl of wisdom with me years ago saying:
Just as humility is vital for holiness, so approval of man for pride.
We place no confidence in the flesh, and we seek not the approval of man. If you still have this inferiority in your heart, and you still feel that God doesn’t love you, or you don’t deserve anything, or you are nothing; or you think you have to overcompensate by boasting about the things Father is showing you, then you still seek the approval of man.
I would like to share a dream I had that points to this fearing what man will say and also the disposition that is needed with regard to ministry.
HALIBUT DREAM
I dreamed that I was visiting a friend of mine called Liesl. In this dream she lived on a farm. When I arrived, I saw her standing inside a camp with an ostrich, and she was very friendly with this ostrich. The ostrich had its head in the sand. I noticed that lions were circling the camp and went inside the house. My husband, Daniel, was standing outside, not the least fazed by these lions. I called for him to come in and both he and Liesl came inside. I was sitting on the bed and noticed that the walls were all glass windows. It was then that I noticed the lions circling the house looking at me. They looked very thin and anaemic. I was very scared of them and asked Liesl whether she saw them. Liesl then told me, “Be careful of those lions!” When I looked at them, I saw they had human teeth.
The next moment we are ordering take-aways. Danny and Liesl ordered McDonalds and I ordered Halibut. When the take-aways came, I was disgusted to see how greasy hamburgers were, and the chips were oily and burned and thrown on top of books within a box. End of dream.
Interpretation
This dream came just before I started to post videos on YouTube. This is why the house is made of glass, in the same way as the eagle in my dream was about a showcase. You are in the open for everybody to see. Liesl’s name means gift of God, which points to the gifts Father has given me and that He was telling me to not bury my gifts in the sand in the same way He told the disciples in Matthew 6, “Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.” It was time for me to become more public in ministry. Daniel, my husband, often used by Father to speak in a dream as my heavenly husband, is there in the capacity as the one who protects me from the lions. This is why he was not afraid of them, pointing to Daniel, who was known for his dreams and interpretations and was cast into the dungeon with the lions. The lions with the human teeth point to the persecution that will come from those who are anemic in their ministry and envious. I am to stay in His rest, being seated on the bed and not fear the “lion’s” faces. I am not to fear man.
The take-away food points to the temptation. Food is synonymous with temptation as Adam and Eve were drawn away because of the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life by a fruit. (Remember I spoke of those to whom temptation comes because they have inferiority that’s holding the pendulum of their lives, because they lust and covet the gifts and callings to use them for their own purposes and to fulfill the need to be loved and approved by God.) Fruit in temptation points to sexual desires or lust, as was the case with Joseph and Potiphar’s wife -- whether it is the lust of the eyes or the lust of the flesh. The MacDonald’s points to that which is fast and cheap but ultimately defiles and has no nutritional value. The saying, “You are what you eat” is applicable here. The books on which this greasy food is sitting is speaking of what I will teach. What you take into your body matters to him, whether through your eyes, ears, or mouth. It matters to Him from which table you eat. So here Daniel representing Yeshua, and Liesl representing the Holy Spirit giving the gifts are being defiled; the books and teachings are being made one with that which I eat, because I am them and they are in me. He is saying stay away from these things; do not be caught in the trap of inferiority where you seek the things of the Spirit as well as the fleshly things that are temptations to you.
I ate Halibut. It was the first time I ever heard of Halibut. I had to look it up, not knowing what kind of fish this is. The reason for Halibut, is pointing to the nutritional value of fish, as well as the fact that Halibut means holy fish. It speaks of being separated or being set apart from God. The Halibut fish is a fish that swims on the lower level of the sea. This speaks of humility. It is also a flat fish, once again speaking of lowliness, keeping a low profile if you will. The Halibut’s eyes also only look up, which points to only looking at Him.
In this dream Father was warning me of the different dangers on the road ahead and that I am to look only to Him. That humility and looking to Him, not to people or myself, is of utmost importance. And this is what He is saying to all of us. This inferiority is only a focus on self, which points to you, which is basically pride. It causes you to only serve self, no matter how you confess that you serve Him. Yeshua said in Matthew 6:24, “No one can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one and love the other; or else he will hold to the one and despise the other.” The word also says in Romans 6:16, “Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey…” If your eyes only look to yourself, and you serve only yourself, then yourself is your master, the idol upon your heart. This is very serious; this is why He wants us to deal with guile, because guile in the end points to only serving self. You cannot serve Him wholeheartedly while serving yourself and Him; it must be one or the other.
Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life”. Deception comes not necessarily only because we don’t know the particular lie that has been spoken to us. Deception comes because of the desires and lusts of our hearts; we are drawn away by this. Regardless of if this is lust for spiritual things or physical things, it is still lust. Lust draws us away from our pure devotion to Him, and then deception takes place in the heart as a result. Yeshua said in Matthew 5:8, “Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God”. The issue of seeing God, of discernment, and of understanding with wisdom and revelation, of our eyes and ears being opened, are all issues of the heart. This is because we see and perceive through the filters of our heart, that which is still undealt with. If you are still dealing with these things, this guile is still within your heart. It will influence your ministry as well as your seeing, your speaking, and your hearing. It will be filtered through that thinking, and He wants to deal with it. Unless you deal with this guile, you will never walk in the fullness of the calling for which He has apprehended you. You will automatically disqualify yourself from that fullness. You might still possess the gifts, but not the fullness and not the perfect gift. You will have the good gift but not the perfect gift. He wants you to have the perfect gift. This is why some people’s ministries are anemic; they lack the sense of God.
Jeremiah 17 says:
JEREMIAH 17
9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?
10 I the Lord search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.
The Father shows these doings in the scrolls of our treasure chests. The Words say that we eat the fruit of our mouths, and this made me think of and ask, at what table are we eating? Remember in the Halibut dream, Daniel and Liesl represented Yeshua and the Holy Spirit eating greasy food, the teachings, and it became one with them. This took me to 1 Corinthians 10.
1 CORINTHIANS 10
21 Ye cannot drink the cup of the Lord, and the cup of devils: ye cannot be partakers of the Lord's table, and of the table of devils.
We become one with the table. The sacrifice on the altar, with the table being the altar, is one. So when you partake of the table of idols, you make yourself one with the altar. We have a different altar, and it is called the cross. It is at that table we are seated. In Proverbs 9, we hear Wisdom calling, and she is saying that she has hewn out her seven pillars (seven churches), and she has set the table with a feast, offering to come drink of her wine and her bread that she has set for us. This is an invitation of the Father saying to you, “Come and eat and drink of my table, the table of your heart that I have set before your enemies.” Then further you read of the foolish woman, and she is sitting and screaming out to whoever passes by, “You are the lucky one chosen today.” She offers stolen waters and stolen bread, those quick fixes. These are the pages torn out where He says that they don’t believe me, so they lean on their own understanding and go to others, such as “Let’s go to this sermon, let’s try this course, read this book”… quick fixes. They do not want to stay on the altar of God and feast on the cross, because it will require them to deal with the guile in their heart.
So the question is, from which altar are you eating? What is written on the table of your heart and your book? Whose call did you answer, and whose call are you answering today? Are you living on the lies from your youth, having carried them all along with you? Are you living on the things you’ve gone through, your divorce, sexual abuse and molestation, the rapes that took place, the sorrow over people who have died in your life, all the broken relationships, and the scars left on your heart? Then you decide you are going to tear that page out of your book, because ultimately it means that you are not meant for this; you will just keep a low profile. Are you eating at the table He has set before you in the presence of your enemies, from where He can send you out? In Psalm 23, that table means to sit at the King’s table to receive kingly authority in order to be sent out. Are you sitting at that table? Do you now wonder why you are not being sent out, if you have not been sitting at that table? At which table and altar are you sitting and feasting from?
When I was busy with this and Father was breaking this bread open to me to eat from, He said this to me, “Bind the sacrifice to the altar”. I knew it was somewhere in Leviticus, but He directed me to Psalm 118.
PSALM 118
27 God is the Lord, which hath shewed us light: bind the sacrifice with cords, even unto the horns of the altar.
I found a commentary on this verse by a man called T.H. Howard that was very good.
BOUND TO THE ALTAR: T.H. HOWARD
“Some time ago I went with The General to Stockholm, where the Swedish Officers were gathered together for their annual Congress. (I am thinking that the General is General Booth from the Salvation Army.)
I need not dwell at any great length upon the word 'altar'. I referred to the table in our Altar Services as the place of gifts. It is also the place of dedication and the place of sacrifice. Thank God, it has been so to many, as well as the mercy-seat, where God has sealed the acceptance of the offering presented to Him.
How often have we been reminded of that altar of sacrifice in the shape of the accursed cross, where the Saviour made atonement for our sins! And it is in reality at that altar we bow.
The horns were the corner posts, and sometimes the worshipper presenting a living creature would tether it with a cord to the altar's horn, so that the gift could be used either for sacrifice or service. In both cases the figure of speech seems to imply the possibility of the consecration being reversed by the withdrawal of the offering, or broken by its loss, the sacrifice slipping off or away from the altar, or being loosened by the person who had presented the offering.
The Psalmist therefore urges those to whom he is speaking to maintain their consecration, and to see to it that their sacrifice is not taken off the altar after being put on. These corner posts were not there for ornament, but for use, and the cords were intended to hold the sacrifice to the altar, so that it could not be snatched away.
What I want to emphasize by this is that those who come with gifts and dedications should bind themselves in terms of unalterable covenant. They should stand to their consecration when loss or pain or temptation come, and come they will in one form or another. It is just here where so many fail -- they do not really maintain their sacrifice. That is to say, having made a consecration, they do not stand to it. The offering has been made, but it has been taken back again; the vow has been registered, but not paid; the promise has been made, but not fulfilled; the consecration has been broken or reversed.
Take that wonderful scene in the life of Abraham. At the command of God, he erected an altar, cut the sacrifice in pieces, and laid it there. Then Abraham waited for the coming of the fire. Before the fire came, or anything happened, the vultures, those unclean birds, were circling around his head and around the altar trying to defile the sacrifice or snatch it away or devour it. The story says that when the birds came down, Abraham drove them away, and he stood to his covenant until the fire came. The vultures of temptation will circle around you. They will try to frighten you,, and to remove the sacrifice wholly or partially, or to defile it in some way. Your business then is to drive them away, to bind and rebind the sacrifice to God's altar.”
God is waiting for a whole burnt offering from us, and that we will remain on that altar, binding our heart with cords to the horns of the altar. Those horns represent Aleph, the Ox, that He may be our strength. While we are on the altar and He sends the fire, we in our weakness are bound to the strength of the Ox, never looking to ourselves.
1 Corinthians 10 says:
1 CORINTHIANS 10
17 For we being many are one bread, and one body: for we are all partakers of that one bread.
18 Behold Israel after the flesh: are not they which eat of the sacrifices partakers of the altar?
Just as you become a partaker of the sacrifice of the altar and then become part of that altar, you become one with that same altar of the enemy when you believe what is spoken over you and you give your life to his lies. When you choose to become a whole burnt offering to Him, you bind yourself to the altar of the cross, you become one with Christ, and you become one with the altar. When that sacrifice is on that altar, the High Priest comes with the sword of the Spirit and he divides bone and marrow, between soul and spirit, and he discerns the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And it will hurt. He will go deep into that very essence of you, and He will remove that guile from you, if you stay put and bind the sacrifice to the altar.
I would like to end with a word that Father gave me several years ago. Listen carefully to the admonitions given.
WITHOUT GUILE
When I have your tongue, I have you.
Once you confess with a mouth that is not hot and cold, one that knows assuredly, without any doubt, what I have called you to, and you accept and embrace it with your whole being, it is then that I can send you.
If any part in you still does not buy into what I have prepared for you and you doubt, I cannot send you or use you as I intended and purposed. Your lips must be without guile before I can send you.
This is not merely a confession, but from out of the heart one speaks, and so the issue of your lips is the issue of your heart. I alone search the heart of man and know it through and through. I try the heart of man to see if they are true and whether they are without guile.
How can two walk together unless they agree? And yet, you need to walk not only with Me, but walk in the knowing that we are one. My nature in you, expressed by what you will do. For it is not just what you will do that will express My glory and who I am, but who you are in yourself - one with Me.
How can two walk together unless they agree? There can be no guile on your lips and in your walk.
Called to walk vitally united to My Spirit in all you do. This requires a spirit that is without guile. Be zealous therefore to root out all guile, all that which will hinder you from running this race and fulfilling My purpose, lest you be disqualified and bring shame upon yourself.
A little leaven leavens the whole lump. Humble yourself therefore, search your heart, and I will lift you up and use you.
Then I will send you.
To those who have ears will hear what the Spirit is saying to those who are sabotaging their call and purpose that God has in store for them. May you earnestly seek Him for this to reveal any guile in your heart and choose to remain and bind yourself to the altar as a whole burnt offering to be consumed with fire, so that His glory may be made manifest in you.
Amen and bless you.
