Friday, February 10, 2023

FORTIFIED


 

I would like to start this devotional just to remind us that the Church in itself during the Great Tribulation will be an apostolic and prophetic entity.  The word “apostolic” comes from the word “Apostolos”, which means “the sent ones”.  It refers to the workers that will be here during the course of the tribulation to bring in a great harvest.  He has been preparing these workers through a lot of hardship, preparing their characters and moulding them. So that they would be able to be light in the darkness, and hope through which He will display His glory and bring many to salvation.  There are many examples in scripture of these workers or harvesters.  We need to read the word not only in what happened in the past but also present and eschatologically, the future.  The Apostolic part of these workers has a lot to do with shepherding, community, displaying His power and glory; looking after His children as shepherds.

The prophetic part of the Church is that she in herself as a prophetic entity will display and demonstrate the cross in a real felt reality.  People will not just hear about the cross, but they will see it demonstrated by the lives that these workers will lay down willingly.  Whatever they do will be in itself a message.  A prophet does not only give a message, but is in himself the message.  What he does and how he lives is the message. 

In the same way Father has allowed me to go through various things in my life to be a message and serve as a type and shadow so that you can understand the things He will take us through. 

About 14 years ago I was still under the impression that there is not something like the rapture or the “escape” and that I would be going through the whole tribulation.  I was listening to sermons regarding this, completely sold out to it.  One night I considered the type of trauma and what will happen, and it overwhelmed me one night.  That evening as I was getting ready to go sleep, I decided to ask Father for the first time ever in my life for a dream, wanting to know whether I will be staying here for the whole of the tribulation.  I was very persistent.  At that time, I had no idea what a worker is and that there actually is something like a worker.  That night He gave me the following dream.

The dream is divided into three parts.  In the first part I saw myself standing at a door of a hut, looking at a mountain.  I could see a tsunami coming over this mountain, straight to me.  Just before it reached me, I simply lifted my hands and said “Still!” and the water stopped right at my feet.  In this scene is shown the type of power that will be given to these workers.

Then I saw the same scene, but here the water filled the house and I could see myself tumbling under the water trying to get out.  The next moment the water just dissipated and I stood there completely dry.  This is a reference to the scripture where Yeshua tells his disciples that some will be thrown into jail and others not a hair on their head will be harmed.

The third scene I could see through the eyes of Yeshua as He walked down steps.  He was holding a big wooden platter with the most beautiful fruit.  He came down to where we were sitting and started to serve us.  This is a reference to those workers that He will come and sit and dine with as their reward.

I did not know any of these scriptures, but as the years passed, He revealed them to me.  The reason why I wanted to relay this dream of so many years ago, is because of water.  A lot of people have received dreams and visions, including me, of tsunamis that will overtake the world, specifically Manhattan, New York from the east and west coast.  Water is very much part of what appears to be the beginning of the tribulation.  We also know that when it comes to these tsunamis that there are earthquakes, such as we have recently seen with Turkey. 

On the 1st of January I received a word from the Lord for the year 2023.  I would like to start this devotional with this word.  The word given, is the word “GLORY”, which sounds amazing.  However, we have to understand that Father prepares us to become these vessels to hold this glory.  With great power comes great responsibility, which means we need the character to uphold and maintain the responsibility of this glory and authority.  Herewith the word…

GLORY

A time of great testing is upon you.  You know that your faith is more precious than gold and that I have brought you through seasons of testing.  However, the greater the requirement, the greater the preparation. 

Know that I have forged the weapons of destruction to destroy all of that which stands between you and Me.  For I am indeed jealous, jealous for My glory.  You wish for My glory to be displayed through you and upon you, but know that this will and can only be upon those set apart unto Me.  For I am holy and require your heart to be perfect towards Me.  Yes, you may not want to hear this.  You may be tired, but I know what you can endure and what I have purposed for you.

Do not think that this testing will be as always.  Rather, lay all at My feet and allow Me to orchestrate the boundaries of your testing.  Did I not say that I will lead you in paths of righteousness, even if it is through the valley of the shadow of death?  Do not think this testing will come as you have known it.  It will be not only in a greater degree, but in another form. 

Are you willing to lay it all down for My glory?

Know that those who have received much, much more is required.  A greater self-denial where you lay your life down over and over.  Many will fall by the wayside.  I know who they are and will pick them up and carry them.  Many will turn away saying, “This is too hard!”  But those who endure will receive a crown. 

Great testing My children, but of My doing.  Will you trust Me to finish the work in you that I have started?  Am I not the Master Workman who make vessels of honour to serve in the Master’s house?  Therefore, run this race with endurance.  Set your face as a flint, forgetting what is behind as you apprehend that which I have apprehended you for. 

You know that in order to share in My glory, you have to be made conformable unto death in suffering.  This suffering is to humble you that I may lift you up at My appointed time.  Therefore, do not be discouraged.  Have the mind of a child who trust the process and the mind of a soldier who is determined to finish the course set before you.  I am with you and will guide you.  Listen to My instructions and humble yourself continually that you may bear the burdens with My strength.  Continue to look unto Me, so shall you be saved.

 

Not long after this word from Father, I received another dream.  I dreamed that I was standing in the shallow water of the sea and I could see these massive waves towering over me, just about to break.  It was as if everything was happening in slow motion.  The first thought that came to me was that I should not fight against these waves, they are too big, but that I am to go with them and they will take me to the shore.  The second thought that came was that there would be more waves to come.  I then woke up with the words, “Be bold and courageous”, which is a reference to the first chapter in the book of Joshua, where Joshua was told that Moses is dead and that he now had to possess the land by sending men of valour into Canaan.  They were told to be bold and courageous.  In Canaan they would face giants and the Lord knew that they were fearful, hence why He told them to be bold and courageous. 

I knew after this dream that this testing would happen soon, coming in waves.  During this time, He showed me that I am to go on a 40 day fast.  I have never been on a 40 day fast.  I love to fast and feel it is one of the most beautiful things He can ask the Body to do. I will never go on a fast unless He confirms this to me and when it is a lengthy fast, I wait on Him to confirm it to me in multiple ways, because I do not trust my heart. I do not look for the confirmations, they must come to me.  He confirmed this 40 day fast in a matter of 40 minutes in various ways. 

The word He gave for 2023 is not just a personal word for me, but also a corporate word for His body.  This is in reference to the type of suffering we will have to endure, preparing our hearts.  Before this word, I would on a daily basis, I still do, get the numbers 69 and 96 for three months.  He showed me that these numbers refer to Psalm 69 and Psalm 96.  Psalm 96 is basically the opposite of Psalm 69 and has everything to do with worshipping, praising and giving Him the glory.  It is all about praising Him.  Let’s read a few verses of Psalm 69, which can be read with Psalm 88, that is a type and shadow of the tribulation to come.  Psalm18 also coincides with this.  Psalm 69 is also a messianic psalm in which you will clearly hear how Yeshua is depicted in how David speaks and what he has to endure.  Note how Psalm 69 starts with water, which is what you will find in Psalm 18 as well.

 

PSALM 69

1 Save me, O God; for the waters are come in unto my soul.

I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing: I am come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me.

I am weary of my crying: my throat is dried: mine eyes fail while I wait for my God.

They that hate me without a cause are more than the hairs of mine head: they that would destroy me, being mine enemies wrongfully, are mighty: then I restored that which I took not away.

O God, thou knowest my foolishness; and my sins are not hid from thee.

Let not them that wait on thee, O Lord God of hosts, be ashamed for my sake: let not those that seek thee be confounded for my sake, O God of Israel.

Because for thy sake I have borne reproach; shame hath covered my face.

I am become a stranger unto my brethren, and an alien unto my mother's children.

For the zeal of thine house hath eaten me up; and the reproaches of them that reproached thee are fallen upon me.

10 When I wept, and chastened my soul with fasting, that was to my reproach.

11 I made sackcloth also my garment; and I became a proverb to them.

12 They that sit in the gate speak against me; and I was the song of the drunkards.

13 But as for me, my prayer is unto thee, O Lord, in an acceptable time: O God, in the multitude of thy mercy hear me, in the truth of thy salvation.

14 Deliver me out of the mire, and let me not sink: let me be delivered from them that hate me, and out of the deep waters.

15 Let not the waterflood overflow me, neither let the deep swallow me up, and let not the pit shut her mouth upon me.

16 Hear me, O Lord; for thy lovingkindness is good: turn unto me according to the multitude of thy tender mercies.

17 And hide not thy face from thy servant; for I am in trouble: hear me speedily.

18 Draw nigh unto my soul, and redeem it: deliver me because of mine enemies.

19 Thou hast known my reproach, and my shame, and my dishonour: mine adversaries are all before thee.

20 Reproach hath broken my heart; and I am full of heaviness: and I looked for some to take pity, but there was none; and for comforters, but I found none.

21 They gave me also gall for my meat; and in my thirst they gave me vinegar to drink.

29 But I am poor and sorrowful: let thy salvation, O God, set me up on high.

30 I will praise the name of God with a song, and will magnify him with thanksgiving.

31 This also shall please the Lord better than an ox or bullock that hath horns and hoofs.

32 The humble shall see this, and be glad: and your heart shall live that seek God.

 

The reason why Father continually prepared my heart with Psalm 69 was to tell me that I was going through an experience of Psalm 69, which is what the fast was about.  With this, I would like to mention Acts 16 where Paul and Silas, on their way to Macedonia were captured and flogged, backs torn open and placed into stocks, and consequently thrown into a prison or a dungeon.  The prison of that time reeked of fear and excrement.  The word says that “At midnight” they started to praise and worship God.  At “midnight” speaks of the darkest time of the day.  The Holy Spirit guided Luke, the writer of the book of Acts, to write, “at midnight”.  It is in the darkest hour that there rose a song from their innermost being and they worshipped God.  With their tattered and torn backs against the filthy prison walls, they started worshipping and praising God.  The Word says that the prison doors opened.  They did not leave.  No such instructions were given.  However, the prisoners were set free and the warden and his family were saved.  Paul and Silas were not prisoners because they were behind bars, but they were free.  They sang and worshipped and others were set free because of their worship.  This was what Father was saying to me, “You are going to experience a fast where you will be tested in ways you have never been tested before.  It is going to be very difficult and you are going to have to endure.  But you will sing a song, a praise in your prison.  That was my portion.

At first, I did not understand it yet as such.  The first week I was met with backpain.  I was only drinking water, thinking that maybe my kidneys are acting up due to too much water, but I realized soon it was not that.  At night the pain was searing through both my legs.  I could not sleep on my side, back or tummy.  I could not sleep due to the pain and this caused not only my body to fight wanting food, but it had to fight the pain.  This left me exhausted.  This went on for about a week.  I came to one point where I decided to take anti-inflammatory just so I could get some sleep.  This exhaustion due to a lack of sleep, pain and food caused me to not be able to do anything.  I was of no use.  I had to endure this pain.  I also often woke up during the course of the night where the time in the Strong’s Concordance meant to suffer and endure.  I only took 3 anti-inflammatories in total, but they did not really help.  One night I decided to not take anything and that I was just going to sleep through the pain.  I knew He had a purpose with it.  Nothing can happen to me unless He allows it.  I asked Him the next day to tell me why He allowed this pain.  Was I then not to write and pray during this time of fasting?  He then clearly showed me a vision of Yeshua’s back ripped apart when they flogged Him.  I then thought of the pain that was searing through my body, and I could not imagine the amount of pain He went through, having His whole back shredded and torn, with every nerve stinging His body in great pain.  I could not imagine the pain He had gone through with His whole back and the nerves attached to His spine, were running through His whole body.  It broke my heart to just having a small taste of that, of how agonizing and tiring it was for me, how much more for Him.  It was very overwhelming.  The moment He showed me the purpose of the pain I endured; He took the pain immediately away.  It was then that I realized that there would be more and that these were the waves I would have to face in this fast. At that moment my words to Him were, “I’m ready for the next wave.”  I knew that I was to endure whatever He was going to allow on this fast.

The next thing that happened to me is that I started to get a lot of heartburn.  Usually when I fast, I do not get any heartburn.  Fasting is a breeze to me and I enjoy it so much.  I am so aware of Him carrying me in a fast and I seldom have any problems with hunger.  I am strong in a fast and I grow spiritually more receptive.  For me to fast is an absolute joy.  This fast was the complete opposite.  Therefore, I knew His hand was in all of this and that He had a purpose with it.  So, here I was having 24/7 heartburn, something I never have had on a fast.  I would wake up in the middle of the night with heartburn, only able to drink water.  I did some research and found out that because I was not eating, that my stomach acid was imbalanced.   What makes heartburn flare up during a fast is also anti-inflammatories, which is what I took.  Herein lies the set-up, because if I did not have the backpain, I would not have taken the medication. He wanted to show me something.   Once I understood this was His doing, He took me to Psalm 69.

PSALM 69

21 They gave me also gall for my meat; and in my thirst they gave me vinegar to drink.

 

At that moment He was saying to me that He endured not necessarily heartburn, but the bitterness of life.  He endured the hardness of life, even to the point of tasting it and that it was His portion.  There was nobody there when He was on the cross who said to Him, “Don’t worry, you’re going to be okay.  You will get off here soon. We are praying for you.”  The word says that He found no comforters, there was nobody there for Him.  The moment I understood what He was showing me, at that the very moment, He took the heartburn away.  It was then that I said, “Okay Father, I am ready for the next wave.”  Not even a day would pass before the next wave came.

The next wave was complete fatigue.  I was utterly exhausted to the point where I needed regular breaks.  I could not brush my teeth standing, I had to sit down.  Everything was an immense effort.  I could not do my hair.  I had to clean my house, but could only do it during a course of days.  Anything I did was met with absolute exhaustion.  When He showed me the purpose behind this, I was once again floored.  I had this mental picture of His back flogged, His whole body exhausted and in pain, and I saw the Via de la Rosa, with the cross beam on His shoulders.  I was reminded of the 2023 word where He ends with saying that I will be able to bear the burdens He places on my shoulders when I look to Him.  Everyday felt like a walk down the Via de la Rosa to me.  Impossible to put one foot before the other.  The pain and exhaustion were too much to take.  There are people who are so overwhelmed with exhaustion because of sickness, because of life and the things they have to endure.  This is what He was carrying on the Via de la Rosa.  The battle of life, the extremity of life that causes us to suffer.  He has so much compassion on us and He endured the Via de la Rosa and with one aim and that was to be crucified on that cross.  Once He showed me this, He lifted the exhaustion. 

The next wave was a deficiency in magnesium.  I was not aware that it was a deficiency that I had.  I at first, thought that I had a deficiency in salt.  I took salt and my body violently rejected it and I knew that it was neither sweet nor salt that my body needed.  The thought that came to me was that maybe it is a deficiency in magnesium.  I looked up the symptoms and I had all the symptoms.  That same night He gave me a dream wherein He was holding a wooden bowl with an avocado and banana smoothie mixture.  He put his whole hand into it and drank it and gave some for me to drink.  In this dream He not only confirmed that it was a magnesium deficiency, but that I was to make sure that I take this immediately, because He knew I would not make it without it.  At this stage my exhaustion was to the point where I thought my family would find me on the ground passed out.  I was at the stage where I knew that I could land in the hospital and needed a drip.  I could not even slice mushrooms without having to lay over the kitchen table, unable to breath.  I was sick.  At that point, Father showed me what is written in Isaiah 53, known as the chapter of the Suffering Servant.

ISAIAH 53

10 Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.

It pleased the Father to do this to His Son in order to make Him an offering for sin.  To put Him to grief in the Strong’s Concordance is H2470 and it means;

To become weak, diseased and ill.

It pleased the Father to literally make the Son sick on our behalf.  He wanted me to experience this kind of exhaustion to the point of death, which He endured by carrying our sickness in His body.  Not just by the stripes on His back, but also by becoming sick.  This is what He meant by putting me through Psalm 69.  He wanted me to endure the things of the cross.  At the point where He showed me the Via de la Rose, He led me to psalm 27.  There is a particular verse that really touched my heart as I was reading it, because at that time, especially at night time when I wanted to pray, I could do nothing.  I could literally only worship Him.  I was completely depleted of any strength; I could not even pray.  I did not once lose my joy in the Lord.  All I could do was worship and praise Him.  There was one verse that particularly caught my attention, because I read it in the light of where I was at, utter weakness.

PSALM 27

When thou said, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, Lord, will I seek.

Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.

When I read “leave me not, neither forsake me”, a desperate cry came out of the depth of my being.  “Leave me not!”  Never being this weak in my life, with the sense of desperateness that gripped my being, thinking of what it would be like if He had to leave, even though I knew He would never leave me, caused me to cry out to Him.  The mere thought coupled with my absolute weakness was such a devastating thought, that I begged Him not to leave me.  I begged Him not to forsake me.  At that very moment He reminded me that He cried, “My God! My God! Why hast thou forsaken Me!”, so that we would never have to utter those words.  When He felt this weakness far more than I could, His cry came up, “My God! My God! Why did you forsake me!” There will be a time in the tribulation where we will cry out to Him in the same way, but will know that He endured this on our behalf. 

The last thing that I went through was dryness of my throat and my tongue.  My tongue clave to my throat and it was so dry that I could feel the ridges on my tongue.  This is where Father reminded me of Isaiah 53 where it talks about Yeshua being silent as a lamb before its shearers and those who accuse Him.  We find the same type and shadow in Ezekiel 3.  Ezekiel is called the Son of Man, as a type and shadow of Yeshua.

 

 

EZEKIEL 3

26 And I will make thy tongue cleave to the roof of thy mouth, that thou shalt be dumb, and shalt not be to them a reprover: for they are a rebellious house.

27 But when I speak with thee, I will open thy mouth, and thou shalt say unto them, Thus saith the Lord God; He that heareth, let him hear; and he that forbeareth, let him forbear: for they are a rebellious house.

Father was showing me what Yeshua endured even in that moment of His mouth being dry and unable to speak a word before His accusers. 

During this period of this fast where I thought I might die, I was sitting one night in a bath of Epsom salt, which contains a lot of magnesium in it. I was aware of the fight that was going on within the spirit world.  At some point I started to desperately cry out to Him and say, “I do not care what this fast will do, even if it means I land up in hospital, but I will not stop.  I will not stop until I reach that 40th day.  I do not care what it takes, but I will not stop.”  I was so determined and begged Him to give the grace to endure to the end.  I was absolutely determined.  Unbeknownst to me that was a “watershed” moment.  Something in me at that moment He performed.  He did something in that moment that I cried out to Him in my spirit that I was unable to do.  This was something that Richard Wurmbrand mentioned in his book, Tortured for Christ.  He said, “In all the 14 years of torturing and seeing others tortured, I have learned that man’s spirit is stronger than his body.”  Your spirit is able to endure far more than what your body can endure.  That is the threshold He took me over and the threshold He will take His children over.  I would like to give you a quote from C.H. Spurgeon with regard to this “watershed” moment in Christ’s life.  He is talking about Yeshua who set His face like a flint to go up to Jerusalem, knowing that He must be crucified.

“My great object is to lead you to love Him who so loved you that He set His face like a flint in His determination to save you.  O ye redeemed ones, on whose behalf this strong resolve was made.  Ye who have been bought by the precious blood of steadfast, resolute Redeemer.  Come and think awhile on him, that your hearts may burn within you, and that your faces may be set like flints to live and die for Him who lived and died for you!

The set purpose to redeem His people was an all-consuming passion, that ever burned within His sol, for what He said once to His disciples, He felt always.  “I have a baptism to be baptised with; and how I am straightened till it be accomplished!”  He longed for it”

This is the place where He brought me, saying “I have a baptism to be baptized with.”  I was willing to go through all of the 40 days, no matter what He allowed me to endure.  I did not care what wave it was.  This is not to hoot my own horn.  This is to show you what He worked in me and work in us, in our spirit, to bring us to that threshold, where you count all things loss.  This has to do with the strength of our spirit man.

PROVERBS 25

28A man who has no rule over his spirit is as a city broken down without walls.

SONG OF SOLOMON

We have a little sister, and she hath no breasts: what shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for?

If she be a wall, we will build upon her a palace of silver: and if she be a door, we will inclose her with boards of cedar.

10 I am a wall, and my breasts like towers: then was I in his eyes as one that found favour.

When I went into this fast, I knew that this fast was to fortify me and to strengthen and prepare me for what is to come.  I asked Him to enlarge my heart to be able to endure what is to come.  Our heart has walls, chambers and doors.  So, this scripture points to her heart.  There is an enlargement of the heart that takes place during suffering in order to cause us to endure and strengthen our spirit man to the extent that we will be able to endure whatever suffering comes our way.  The spirit is stronger than the body.  When you look at the meaning of ruling your spirit, your spirit in the Strong’s Concordance is the word “Ruah”, which means your emotions and mental ability.  The flip side of that is glory where the Spirit of God is made manifest through those who endure.  Here the spirit does the following in our spirit man, which is exactly what happened in Christ. 

Inspiring the ecstatic state of prophecy

Impelling the prophet to utter instruction and warning

Imparting warlike energy, executive and administrative power and,

Manifesting the shekinah glory of God.

When you rule your spirit, your thoughts and emotions, and the innerman is strengthened by the Spirit, your heart is then enlarged and a greater capacity is given to endure.  That is when the glory of God is made manifest through hearts that have overcome the flesh in suffering.  During this period, I went through a stage where the Spirit came over me and I started to long for and cried out, had a desire and passion to die for Him. It was not out of a great idea of what we are called to, but a burning desire to die for Him. There is a transcended place where Father brings us through our suffering where we will overcome and be a manifestation of the cross, power and glory, by how we lay our lives down.  It will be a joyful suffering and a joyful martyrdom.  We will long for it, just like He did.  We will give our lives willingly and we will have a desire to be baptized just like Him.  The following scripture He gave me before the fast, which was to show me that He is giving me the privilege to share in His suffering and be made conformable unto His death.

PHILIPPIANS 3

Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,

And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith:

10 That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death;

11 If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead.

12 Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.

13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

15 Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in anything ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you.

Think of Yeshua who set His face like a flint to apprehend that which He was apprehended for, of which Paul is a type and shadow.  Setting his face like a flint, always wanting to be made conformable unto His death.  Desiring to be made perfect.  What was needed in me during this fast was to be made perfect in endurance, the watershed moment.  Being able to go from wanting suffering to pass to enduring suffering and where it did not make a difference whether I suffered for His glory or not.  That is the perfection He wanted to work in me and will work in us.  This is why in James 1 we read the following…

JAMES 1

My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;

Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.(ENDURANCE)

But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be PERFECT and entire, wanting nothing.

There is a perfect work that He is doing in us in our suffering.  How we suffer, whether we praise Him in our prison, or whether we praise Him in our pain and reach that point of no turning back, willing to do whatever it takes in order for Him to do what He needs to do in you, it is then where He can display His glory in those vessels who have been prepared. 

Why did He want me to endure all these things? 

The first thing is that He wanted to fortify me.  When Jeremiah was called to be a prophet, the LORD God told Him that He is making him a fortified city, an iron pillar.  Almost like a lighthouse in a storm.

The other thing is that He wanted to enlarge my heart and give me a greater capacity to suffer and to perfect that which concerns me.  We read once again of this perfection in Hebrews 5, a very important scripture about Yeshua as our Great High Priest and Intercessor.

HEBREWS 5

Who in the days of his flesh, when he had offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears unto him that was able to save him from death, and was heard in that he feared;

Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;

And being made PERFECT, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him;

Through all His suffering and what He endured, how He cried out to the Father, there was a point where He was made perfect where nobody was going to stop Him from getting to the cross. 

The band, King and Country, has a song about the Explorers who came to new land and how the ships crew and soldiers were demotivated and fearful.  The captain then commanded, “Burn the ships!”, taking from them any possible way out.  Once the ships are burned there is no plan B, C or D.  Only one way to go and that is forward.  My ships were burned, Paul’s ships were burned and Yeshua’s ships were burned.  Nobody was going to stop them from apprehending that which they have been apprehended for.  A steadfast determination and resolution of “I have a baptism to be baptized with.” 

At the 20th day of my fast there was no turning back and I was willing to face whatever He would bring.  For me it was not a question whether I will make it.  However, He showed me a vision on the 20th day of a crow with a yellow napkin on.  I immediately knew what He was showing me and I was very upset, because He wanted me to stop the fast.  He wanted me to read 1 Kings 17 where Elijah was told that the LORD God have commanded the crows to bring him meat, bread and water.  I cried for a long time and were devastated.  Even though it was Him telling me to finish, I did not want to finish.  For me it was the equivalent to an athlete who has exercised for two races for the Olympics.  He has trained all his life for this and now after finishing the one race, he is told that he does not have to run the other.  He trained so hard for it, and now he has to stop.  Father knew that only He could stop me.  He confirmed it numerous times after that.  For days I still cried because I did not want to stop.  I did not want to prove anything to Him or to myself.  It was not about that.  There was a fire in me, an endurance that could not be stopped.  He gets all the glory and honour for that. 

Not long after that I saw this small clip on YouTube of an Olympic ice skater who did his last performance.  Right at the end he very slowly kissed the ice and placed his cheek on it.  That pierced my heart because I could identify with that sorrow of having to stop.  Having been prepared for so long to do something and then be told, “You can stop now.  I know you can do it.”  This reminded me also of the book I am reading now of a Moslem man who was saved.  His whole family, his grandfather and father were in prison up to 25 years.  He himself have been to prison numerous times.  When he got to the prison where his own grandfather has been, he went down and kissed the floor.  This is how privileged and honoured he deemed suffering for Christ.  This made me think of the Passion movie where Yeshua on the Via de la Rosa falls and holds on to the cross.  It is almost as if He is kissing the cross.  Reminding me that we are to kiss the hand that smites us.  For the work that He does in us, working in the dark and doing amazing things.

The disposition He works in us is fearlessness, not just fearlessness, but that of endurance and faith. 

The word fortitude means to have the strength of mind to endure pain or adversity with courage.  It means strength, force, power to attack or resist attack.  The mental power of endurance, patience and courage in affliction, privation or temptation.  Firmness in confronting danger, hardship or sufferings.

This is what He has called us to.  To be a visible demonstration of the cross in the time to come in suffering and not in the absence of suffering.  In order to experience His glory, we have to be made conformable unto His death in suffering.  We have to be willing, have a fortitude to go into suffering, with this mind of “I will not give up. Work in me Lord that which needs to be worked in me, even now in my present suffering.”  Working that character in us that was in Yeshua, who set His face like a flint to go up to Jerusalem. 

Herewith a word Father gave me in November 2021.  My name is Pietra that comes from Peter, which means “stone”.  And Peter represents the Church.  So, this is a personal as well as a corporate message to the Church.

 

ROCK OF AGES

It is no coincidence that you are called “Peter”.  I have called you.  I have named you for My purposes.  Needing you to become strong only in Me.  To stand in the midst of the storm.

For the gates of hell will indeed come against My church, My Rock, My stones, but they will not prevail.  Therefore, know it is for such a time I am preparing you.  To be strong, resolute and stable in Me.  I alone am your strength.  Without Me you can do nothing. 

Have I not said that the righteous are as the mountains that cannot be moved?  Do not fear the floods.  Do not fear their words, but stand resolute in the strength that I am.  This word shall not depart out of your mouth, but you shall mediate upon it day and night.

For My word will not return void.  Even in the greatest storm it stands.  When your life is built on My word and you do My will, you shall not be moved.  Therefore, My child, do not look to the left or the right, but fix your gaze on that which I have apprehended you for…to be My pillar of faith.  Faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the Word of God.

So, listen, obey and trust Me.  Trust Me that I will hasten to perform My word spoken through you.  Great exploits for which I am preparing you.

You cannot do this unless you are established in My word, unless you are built on the Rock.

Therefore, as I have said, “Focus My little stone, built up in Me, The Rock of Ages cleft for you.