I would like to start this devotional just to remind us that the Church in itself during the Great Tribulation will be an apostolic and prophetic entity. The word “apostolic” comes from the word “Apostolos”, which means “the sent ones”. It refers to the workers that will be here during the course of the tribulation to bring in a great harvest. He has been preparing these workers through a lot of hardship, preparing their characters and moulding them. So that they would be able to be light in the darkness, and hope through which He will display His glory and bring many to salvation. There are many examples in scripture of these workers or harvesters. We need to read the word not only in what happened in the past but also present and eschatologically, the future. The Apostolic part of these workers has a lot to do with shepherding, community, displaying His power and glory; looking after His children as shepherds.
The
prophetic part of the Church is that she in herself as a prophetic entity will
display and demonstrate the cross in a real felt reality. People will not just hear about the cross,
but they will see it demonstrated by the lives that these workers will lay down
willingly. Whatever they do will be in
itself a message. A prophet does not only
give a message, but is in himself the message.
What he does and how he lives is the message.
In the
same way Father has allowed me to go through various things in my life to be a
message and serve as a type and shadow so that you can understand the things He
will take us through.
About
14 years ago I was still under the impression that there is not something like
the rapture or the “escape” and that I would be going through the whole
tribulation. I was listening to sermons
regarding this, completely sold out to it.
One night I considered the type of trauma and what will happen, and it
overwhelmed me one night. That evening
as I was getting ready to go sleep, I decided to ask Father for the first time
ever in my life for a dream, wanting to know whether I will be staying here for
the whole of the tribulation. I was very
persistent. At that time, I had no idea
what a worker is and that there actually is something like a worker. That night He gave me the following dream.
The
dream is divided into three parts. In
the first part I saw myself standing at a door of a hut, looking at a
mountain. I could see a tsunami coming
over this mountain, straight to me. Just
before it reached me, I simply lifted my hands and said “Still!” and the water
stopped right at my feet. In this scene
is shown the type of power that will be given to these workers.
Then I
saw the same scene, but here the water filled the house and I could see myself
tumbling under the water trying to get out.
The next moment the water just dissipated and I stood there completely
dry. This is a reference to the
scripture where Yeshua tells his disciples that some will be thrown into jail
and others not a hair on their head will be harmed.
The
third scene I could see through the eyes of Yeshua as He walked down
steps. He was holding a big wooden
platter with the most beautiful fruit.
He came down to where we were sitting and started to serve us. This is a reference to those workers that He
will come and sit and dine with as their reward.
I did
not know any of these scriptures, but as the years passed, He revealed them to
me. The reason why I wanted to relay
this dream of so many years ago, is because of water. A lot of people have received dreams and
visions, including me, of tsunamis that will overtake the world, specifically
Manhattan, New York from the east and west coast. Water is very much part of what appears to be
the beginning of the tribulation. We
also know that when it comes to these tsunamis that there are earthquakes, such
as we have recently seen with Turkey.
On the
1st of January I received a word from the Lord for the year
2023. I would like to start this
devotional with this word. The word
given, is the word “GLORY”, which sounds amazing. However, we have to understand that Father
prepares us to become these vessels to hold this glory. With great power comes great responsibility,
which means we need the character to uphold and maintain the responsibility of
this glory and authority. Herewith the
word…
GLORY
A time of great testing is upon you. You know that your faith is more precious
than gold and that I have brought you through seasons of testing. However, the greater the requirement, the
greater the preparation.
Know that I have forged the weapons of destruction to destroy
all of that which stands between you and Me.
For I am indeed jealous, jealous for My glory. You wish for My glory to be displayed through
you and upon you, but know that this will and can only be upon those set apart
unto Me. For I am holy and require your
heart to be perfect towards Me. Yes, you
may not want to hear this. You may be
tired, but I know what you can endure and what I have purposed for you.
Do not think that this testing will be as always. Rather, lay all at My feet and allow Me to
orchestrate the boundaries of your testing.
Did I not say that I will lead you in paths of righteousness, even if it
is through the valley of the shadow of death?
Do not think this testing will come as you have known it. It will be not only in a greater degree, but
in another form.
Are you willing to lay it all down for My glory?
Know that those who have received much, much more is
required. A greater self-denial where
you lay your life down over and over.
Many will fall by the wayside. I
know who they are and will pick them up and carry them. Many will turn away saying, “This is too
hard!” But those who endure will receive
a crown.
Great testing My children, but of My doing. Will you trust Me to finish the work in you
that I have started? Am I not the Master
Workman who make vessels of honour to serve in the Master’s house? Therefore, run this race with endurance. Set your face as a flint, forgetting what is
behind as you apprehend that which I have apprehended you for.
You know that in order to share in My glory, you have to be made
conformable unto death in suffering.
This suffering is to humble you that I may lift you up at My appointed
time. Therefore, do not be
discouraged. Have the mind of a child
who trust the process and the mind of a soldier who is determined to finish the
course set before you. I am with you and
will guide you. Listen to My
instructions and humble yourself continually that you may bear the burdens with
My strength. Continue to look unto Me,
so shall you be saved.
Not
long after this word from Father, I received another dream. I dreamed that I was standing in the shallow
water of the sea and I could see these massive waves towering over me, just
about to break. It was as if everything
was happening in slow motion. The first
thought that came to me was that I should not fight against these waves, they
are too big, but that I am to go with them and they will take me to the
shore. The second thought that came was
that there would be more waves to come.
I then woke up with the words, “Be bold and courageous”, which is a
reference to the first chapter in the book of Joshua, where Joshua was told
that Moses is dead and that he now had to possess the land by sending men of
valour into Canaan. They were told to be
bold and courageous. In Canaan they
would face giants and the Lord knew that they were fearful, hence why He told
them to be bold and courageous.
I knew
after this dream that this testing would happen soon, coming in waves. During this time, He showed me that I am to
go on a 40 day fast. I have never been
on a 40 day fast. I love to fast and
feel it is one of the most beautiful things He can ask the Body to do. I will
never go on a fast unless He confirms this to me and when it is a lengthy fast,
I wait on Him to confirm it to me in multiple ways, because I do not trust my
heart. I do not look for the confirmations, they must come to me. He confirmed this 40 day fast in a matter of
40 minutes in various ways.
The
word He gave for 2023 is not just a personal word for me, but also a corporate
word for His body. This is in reference
to the type of suffering we will have to endure, preparing our hearts. Before this word, I would on a daily basis, I
still do, get the numbers 69 and 96 for three months. He showed me that these numbers refer to
Psalm 69 and Psalm 96. Psalm 96 is
basically the opposite of Psalm 69 and has everything to do with worshipping,
praising and giving Him the glory. It is
all about praising Him. Let’s read a few
verses of Psalm 69, which can be read with Psalm 88, that is a type and shadow
of the tribulation to come. Psalm18 also
coincides with this. Psalm 69 is also a
messianic psalm in which you will clearly hear how Yeshua is depicted in how
David speaks and what he has to endure.
Note how Psalm 69 starts with water, which is what you will find in
Psalm 18 as well.
PSALM
69
1 Save me, O God; for the waters are come in
unto my soul.
2 I sink in
deep mire, where there is no standing: I am come into deep waters, where the
floods overflow me.
3 I am weary
of my crying: my throat is dried: mine eyes fail while I wait for my God.
4 They that
hate me without a cause are more than the hairs of mine head: they that would
destroy me, being mine enemies wrongfully, are mighty: then I restored that
which I took not away.
5 O God, thou
knowest my foolishness; and my sins are not hid from thee.
6 Let not
them that wait on thee, O Lord God of
hosts, be ashamed for my sake: let not those that seek thee be confounded for
my sake, O God of Israel.
7 Because for
thy sake I have borne reproach; shame hath covered my face.
8 I am become
a stranger unto my brethren, and an alien unto my mother's children.
9 For the
zeal of thine house hath eaten me up; and the reproaches of them that
reproached thee are fallen upon me.
10 When I
wept, and chastened my soul with fasting, that was to my reproach.
11 I made
sackcloth also my garment; and I became a proverb to them.
12 They that
sit in the gate speak against me; and I was the song of the drunkards.
13 But as for
me, my prayer is unto thee, O Lord, in an
acceptable time: O God, in the multitude of thy mercy hear me, in the truth of
thy salvation.
14 Deliver me
out of the mire, and let me not sink: let me be delivered from them that hate
me, and out of the deep waters.
15 Let not the
waterflood overflow me, neither let the deep swallow me up, and let not the pit
shut her mouth upon me.
16 Hear me,
O Lord; for thy lovingkindness is
good: turn unto me according to the multitude of thy tender mercies.
17 And hide
not thy face from thy servant; for I am in trouble: hear me speedily.
18 Draw nigh
unto my soul, and redeem it: deliver me because of mine enemies.
19 Thou hast
known my reproach, and my shame, and my dishonour: mine adversaries are all
before thee.
20 Reproach
hath broken my heart; and I am full of heaviness: and I looked for some to take
pity, but there was none; and for comforters, but I found none.
21 They gave
me also gall for my meat; and in my thirst they gave me vinegar to drink.
29 But I am
poor and sorrowful: let thy salvation, O God, set me up on high.
30 I will
praise the name of God with a song, and will magnify him with thanksgiving.
31 This also
shall please the Lord better
than an ox or bullock that hath horns and hoofs.
32 The humble
shall see this, and be glad: and your heart shall live that seek God.
The
reason why Father continually prepared my heart with Psalm 69 was to tell me
that I was going through an experience of Psalm 69, which is what the fast was
about. With this, I would like to
mention Acts 16 where Paul and Silas, on their way to Macedonia were captured
and flogged, backs torn open and placed into stocks, and consequently thrown
into a prison or a dungeon. The prison
of that time reeked of fear and excrement.
The word says that “At midnight” they started to praise and worship
God. At “midnight” speaks of the darkest
time of the day. The Holy Spirit guided
Luke, the writer of the book of Acts, to write, “at midnight”. It is in the darkest hour that there rose a
song from their innermost being and they worshipped God. With their tattered and torn backs against
the filthy prison walls, they started worshipping and praising God. The Word says that the prison doors
opened. They did not leave. No such instructions were given. However, the prisoners were set free and the
warden and his family were saved. Paul
and Silas were not prisoners because they were behind bars, but they were
free. They sang and worshipped and
others were set free because of their worship.
This was what Father was saying to me, “You are going to experience a
fast where you will be tested in ways you have never been tested before. It is going to be very difficult and you are
going to have to endure. But you will
sing a song, a praise in your prison.
That was my portion.
At
first, I did not understand it yet as such.
The first week I was met with backpain.
I was only drinking water, thinking that maybe my kidneys are acting up
due to too much water, but I realized soon it was not that. At night the pain was searing through both my
legs. I could not sleep on my side, back
or tummy. I could not sleep due to the
pain and this caused not only my body to fight wanting food, but it had to
fight the pain. This left me
exhausted. This went on for about a
week. I came to one point where I decided
to take anti-inflammatory just so I could get some sleep. This exhaustion due to a lack of sleep, pain
and food caused me to not be able to do anything. I was of no use. I had to endure this pain. I also often woke up during the course of the
night where the time in the Strong’s Concordance meant to suffer and
endure. I only took 3 anti-inflammatories
in total, but they did not really help.
One night I decided to not take anything and that I was just going to
sleep through the pain. I knew He had a
purpose with it. Nothing can happen to
me unless He allows it. I asked Him the
next day to tell me why He allowed this pain. Was I then not to write and pray during this
time of fasting? He then clearly showed
me a vision of Yeshua’s back ripped apart when they flogged Him. I then thought of the pain that was searing
through my body, and I could not imagine the amount of pain He went through,
having His whole back shredded and torn, with every nerve stinging His body in
great pain. I could not imagine the pain
He had gone through with His whole back and the nerves attached to His spine,
were running through His whole body. It
broke my heart to just having a small taste of that, of how agonizing and
tiring it was for me, how much more for Him.
It was very overwhelming. The
moment He showed me the purpose of the pain I endured; He took the pain
immediately away. It was then that I
realized that there would be more and that these were the waves I would have to
face in this fast. At that moment my words to Him were, “I’m ready for the next
wave.” I knew that I was to endure
whatever He was going to allow on this fast.
The
next thing that happened to me is that I started to get a lot of
heartburn. Usually when I fast, I do not
get any heartburn. Fasting is a breeze
to me and I enjoy it so much. I am so
aware of Him carrying me in a fast and I seldom have any problems with
hunger. I am strong in a fast and I grow
spiritually more receptive. For me to
fast is an absolute joy. This fast was
the complete opposite. Therefore, I knew
His hand was in all of this and that He had a purpose with it. So, here I was having 24/7 heartburn,
something I never have had on a fast. I
would wake up in the middle of the night with heartburn, only able to drink
water. I did some research and found out
that because I was not eating, that my stomach acid was imbalanced. What
makes heartburn flare up during a fast is also anti-inflammatories, which is
what I took. Herein lies the set-up,
because if I did not have the backpain, I would not have taken the medication.
He wanted to show me something. Once I
understood this was His doing, He took me to Psalm 69.
PSALM
69
21 They gave me also gall for my meat; and in my thirst they gave me
vinegar to drink.
At
that moment He was saying to me that He endured not necessarily heartburn, but
the bitterness of life. He endured the
hardness of life, even to the point of tasting it and that it was His
portion. There was nobody there when He
was on the cross who said to Him, “Don’t worry, you’re going to be okay. You will get off here soon. We are praying
for you.” The word says that He found no
comforters, there was nobody there for Him.
The moment I understood what He was showing me, at that the very moment,
He took the heartburn away. It was then
that I said, “Okay Father, I am ready for the next wave.” Not even a day would pass before the next
wave came.
The
next wave was complete fatigue. I was
utterly exhausted to the point where I needed regular breaks. I could not brush my teeth standing, I had to
sit down. Everything was an immense
effort. I could not do my hair. I had to clean my house, but could only do it
during a course of days. Anything I did
was met with absolute exhaustion. When
He showed me the purpose behind this, I was once again floored. I had this mental picture of His back
flogged, His whole body exhausted and in pain, and I saw the Via de la Rosa,
with the cross beam on His shoulders. I
was reminded of the 2023 word where He ends with saying that I will be able to
bear the burdens He places on my shoulders when I look to Him. Everyday felt like a walk down the Via de la
Rosa to me. Impossible to put one foot
before the other. The pain and
exhaustion were too much to take. There
are people who are so overwhelmed with exhaustion because of sickness, because
of life and the things they have to endure.
This is what He was carrying on the Via de la Rosa. The battle of life, the extremity of life
that causes us to suffer. He has so much
compassion on us and He endured the Via de la Rosa and with one aim and that
was to be crucified on that cross. Once
He showed me this, He lifted the exhaustion.
The
next wave was a deficiency in magnesium.
I was not aware that it was a deficiency that I had. I at first, thought that I had a deficiency
in salt. I took salt and my body
violently rejected it and I knew that it was neither sweet nor salt that my
body needed. The thought that came to me
was that maybe it is a deficiency in magnesium.
I looked up the symptoms and I had all the symptoms. That same night He gave me a dream wherein He
was holding a wooden bowl with an avocado and banana smoothie mixture. He put his whole hand into it and drank it
and gave some for me to drink. In this
dream He not only confirmed that it was a magnesium deficiency, but that I was
to make sure that I take this immediately, because He knew I would not make it
without it. At this stage my exhaustion
was to the point where I thought my family would find me on the ground passed
out. I was at the stage where I knew
that I could land in the hospital and needed a drip. I could not even slice mushrooms without
having to lay over the kitchen table, unable to breath. I was sick.
At that point, Father showed me what is written in Isaiah 53, known as
the chapter of the Suffering Servant.
ISAIAH
53
10 Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him; he hath put him to grief:
when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he
shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his
hand.
It
pleased the Father to do this to His Son in order to make Him an offering for
sin. To put Him to grief in the Strong’s
Concordance is H2470 and it means;
To become
weak, diseased and ill.
It
pleased the Father to literally make the Son sick on our behalf. He wanted me to experience this kind of
exhaustion to the point of death, which He endured by carrying our sickness in
His body. Not just by the stripes on His
back, but also by becoming sick. This is
what He meant by putting me through Psalm 69.
He wanted me to endure the things of the cross. At the point where He showed me the Via de la
Rose, He led me to psalm 27. There is a
particular verse that really touched my heart as I was reading it, because at
that time, especially at night time when I wanted to pray, I could do
nothing. I could literally only worship
Him. I was completely depleted of any strength;
I could not even pray. I did not once
lose my joy in the Lord. All I could do
was worship and praise Him. There was
one verse that particularly caught my attention, because I read it in the light
of where I was at, utter weakness.
PSALM
27
8 When thou said, Seek ye my face; my
heart said unto thee, Thy face, Lord,
will I seek.
9 Hide not thy face far from me; put not
thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither
forsake me, O God of my salvation.
When I
read “leave me not, neither forsake me”, a desperate cry came out of the depth
of my being. “Leave me not!” Never being this weak in my life, with the
sense of desperateness that gripped my being, thinking of what it would be like
if He had to leave, even though I knew He would never leave me, caused me to
cry out to Him. The mere thought coupled
with my absolute weakness was such a devastating thought, that I begged Him not
to leave me. I begged Him not to forsake
me. At that very moment He reminded me
that He cried, “My God! My God! Why hast thou forsaken Me!”, so that we would
never have to utter those words. When He
felt this weakness far more than I could, His cry came up, “My God! My God! Why
did you forsake me!” There will be a time in the tribulation where we will cry
out to Him in the same way, but will know that He endured this on our behalf.
The
last thing that I went through was dryness of my throat and my tongue. My tongue clave to my throat and it was so
dry that I could feel the ridges on my tongue.
This is where Father reminded me of Isaiah 53 where it talks about
Yeshua being silent as a lamb before its shearers and those who accuse
Him. We find the same type and shadow in
Ezekiel 3. Ezekiel is called the Son of
Man, as a type and shadow of Yeshua.
EZEKIEL
3
26 And I will make thy tongue cleave to
the roof of thy mouth, that thou shalt be dumb, and shalt not be to them a
reprover: for they are a rebellious house.
27 But when I speak with thee, I will open
thy mouth, and thou shalt say unto them, Thus saith the Lord God; He that heareth, let him hear; and
he that forbeareth, let him forbear: for they are a rebellious house.
Father
was showing me what Yeshua endured even in that moment of His mouth being dry
and unable to speak a word before His accusers.
During
this period of this fast where I thought I might die, I was sitting one night
in a bath of Epsom salt, which contains a lot of magnesium in it. I was aware
of the fight that was going on within the spirit world. At some point I started to desperately cry
out to Him and say, “I do not care what this fast will do, even if it means I
land up in hospital, but I will not stop.
I will not stop until I reach that 40th day. I do not care what it takes, but I will not
stop.” I was so determined and begged
Him to give the grace to endure to the end.
I was absolutely determined.
Unbeknownst to me that was a “watershed” moment. Something in me at that moment He
performed. He did something in that
moment that I cried out to Him in my spirit that I was unable to do. This was something that Richard Wurmbrand
mentioned in his book, Tortured for Christ.
He said, “In all the 14 years of torturing and seeing others tortured, I
have learned that man’s spirit is stronger than his body.” Your spirit is able to endure far more than
what your body can endure. That is the
threshold He took me over and the threshold He will take His children
over. I would like to give you a quote
from C.H. Spurgeon with regard to this “watershed” moment in Christ’s life. He is talking about Yeshua who set His face
like a flint to go up to Jerusalem, knowing that He must be crucified.
“My great object is
to lead you to love Him who so loved you that He set His face like a flint in
His determination to save you. O ye
redeemed ones, on whose behalf this strong resolve was made. Ye who have been bought by the precious blood
of steadfast, resolute Redeemer. Come
and think awhile on him, that your hearts may burn within you, and that your
faces may be set like flints to live and die for Him who lived and died for
you!
The set purpose to redeem
His people was an all-consuming passion, that ever burned within His sol, for
what He said once to His disciples, He felt always. “I have a baptism to be baptised with; and
how I am straightened till it be accomplished!”
He longed for it”
This
is the place where He brought me, saying “I have a baptism to be baptized with.” I was willing to go through all of the 40
days, no matter what He allowed me to endure.
I did not care what wave it was.
This is not to hoot my own horn.
This is to show you what He worked in me and work in us, in our spirit,
to bring us to that threshold, where you count all things loss. This has to do with the strength of our
spirit man.
PROVERBS
25
28A man
who has no rule over his spirit is as a city broken down without walls.
SONG
OF SOLOMON
8 We have a little sister, and she hath
no breasts: what shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken
for?
9 If she be a wall, we will build upon
her a palace of silver: and if she be a door, we will inclose her with boards
of cedar.
10 I am a wall, and my breasts like
towers: then was I in his eyes as one that found favour.
When I
went into this fast, I knew that this fast was to fortify me and to strengthen
and prepare me for what is to come. I
asked Him to enlarge my heart to be able to endure what is to come. Our heart has walls, chambers and doors. So, this scripture points to her heart. There is an enlargement of the heart that
takes place during suffering in order to cause us to endure and strengthen our
spirit man to the extent that we will be able to endure whatever suffering
comes our way. The spirit is stronger
than the body. When you look at the
meaning of ruling your spirit, your spirit in the Strong’s Concordance is the
word “Ruah”, which means your emotions and mental ability. The flip side of that is glory where the
Spirit of God is made manifest through those who endure. Here the spirit does the following in our
spirit man, which is exactly what happened in Christ.
Inspiring
the ecstatic state of prophecy
Impelling
the prophet to utter instruction and warning
Imparting
warlike energy, executive and administrative power and,
Manifesting
the shekinah glory of God.
When
you rule your spirit, your thoughts and emotions, and the innerman is
strengthened by the Spirit, your heart is then enlarged and a greater capacity
is given to endure. That is when the
glory of God is made manifest through hearts that have overcome the flesh in
suffering. During this period, I went
through a stage where the Spirit came over me and I started to long for and
cried out, had a desire and passion to die for Him. It was not out of a great
idea of what we are called to, but a burning desire to die for Him. There is a
transcended place where Father brings us through our suffering where we will
overcome and be a manifestation of the cross, power and glory, by how we lay
our lives down. It will be a joyful
suffering and a joyful martyrdom. We
will long for it, just like He did. We
will give our lives willingly and we will have a desire to be baptized just
like Him. The following scripture He
gave me before the fast, which was to show me that He is giving me the
privilege to share in His suffering and be made conformable unto His death.
PHILIPPIANS
3
8 Yea doubtless, and I count all things
but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom
I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may
win Christ,
9 And be found in him, not having mine
own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of
Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith:
10 That I may know him, and the power of
his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable
unto his death;
11 If by any means I might attain unto the
resurrection of the dead.
12 Not as though I had already attained,
either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that
for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.
13 Brethren, I count not myself to have
apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind,
and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
14 I press toward the mark for the prize
of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
15 Let us therefore, as many as be
perfect, be thus minded: and if in anything ye be otherwise minded, God shall
reveal even this unto you.
Think
of Yeshua who set His face like a flint to apprehend that which He was
apprehended for, of which Paul is a type and shadow. Setting his face like a flint, always wanting
to be made conformable unto His death. Desiring
to be made perfect. What was needed in
me during this fast was to be made perfect in endurance, the watershed moment. Being able to go from wanting suffering to
pass to enduring suffering and where it did not make a difference whether I
suffered for His glory or not. That is
the perfection He wanted to work in me and will work in us. This is why in James 1 we read the following…
JAMES
1
2 My brethren, count it
all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
3 Knowing this, that
the trying of your faith worketh patience.(ENDURANCE)
4 But let patience have her perfect work,
that ye may be PERFECT and entire, wanting nothing.
There
is a perfect work that He is doing in us in our suffering. How we suffer, whether we praise Him in our
prison, or whether we praise Him in our pain and reach that point of no turning
back, willing to do whatever it takes in order for Him to do what He needs to
do in you, it is then where He can display His glory in those vessels who have
been prepared.
Why
did He want me to endure all these things?
The
first thing is that He wanted to fortify me.
When Jeremiah was called to be a prophet, the LORD God told Him that He
is making him a fortified city, an iron pillar.
Almost like a lighthouse in a storm.
The
other thing is that He wanted to enlarge my heart and give me a greater
capacity to suffer and to perfect that which concerns me. We read once again of this perfection in
Hebrews 5, a very important scripture about Yeshua as our Great High Priest and
Intercessor.
HEBREWS
5
7 Who in the days of his flesh, when he
had offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears unto him
that was able to save him from death, and was heard in that he feared;
8 Though he were a Son, yet learned he
obedience by the things which he suffered;
9 And being made PERFECT, he became the
author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him;
Through
all His suffering and what He endured, how He cried out to the Father, there
was a point where He was made perfect where nobody was going to stop Him from
getting to the cross.
The
band, King and Country, has a song about the Explorers who came to new land and
how the ships crew and soldiers were demotivated and fearful. The captain then commanded, “Burn the ships!”,
taking from them any possible way out. Once
the ships are burned there is no plan B, C or D. Only one way to go and that is forward. My ships were burned, Paul’s ships were
burned and Yeshua’s ships were burned.
Nobody was going to stop them from apprehending that which they have
been apprehended for. A steadfast
determination and resolution of “I have a baptism to be baptized with.”
At the
20th day of my fast there was no turning back and I was willing to
face whatever He would bring. For me it
was not a question whether I will make it.
However, He showed me a vision on the 20th day of a crow with
a yellow napkin on. I immediately knew
what He was showing me and I was very upset, because He wanted me to stop the
fast. He wanted me to read 1 Kings 17
where Elijah was told that the LORD God have commanded the crows to bring him
meat, bread and water. I cried for a
long time and were devastated. Even
though it was Him telling me to finish, I did not want to finish. For me it was the equivalent to an athlete
who has exercised for two races for the Olympics. He has trained all his life for this and now
after finishing the one race, he is told that he does not have to run the
other. He trained so hard for it, and
now he has to stop. Father knew that
only He could stop me. He confirmed it
numerous times after that. For days I
still cried because I did not want to stop.
I did not want to prove anything to Him or to myself. It was not about that. There was a fire in me, an endurance that
could not be stopped. He gets all the glory
and honour for that.
Not
long after that I saw this small clip on YouTube of an Olympic ice skater who did
his last performance. Right at the end
he very slowly kissed the ice and placed his cheek on it. That pierced my heart because I could identify
with that sorrow of having to stop. Having
been prepared for so long to do something and then be told, “You can stop
now. I know you can do it.” This reminded me also of the book I am
reading now of a Moslem man who was saved.
His whole family, his grandfather and father were in prison up to 25
years. He himself have been to prison
numerous times. When he got to the
prison where his own grandfather has been, he went down and kissed the
floor. This is how privileged and
honoured he deemed suffering for Christ.
This made me think of the Passion movie where Yeshua on the Via de la
Rosa falls and holds on to the cross. It
is almost as if He is kissing the cross.
Reminding me that we are to kiss the hand that smites us. For the work that He does in us, working in
the dark and doing amazing things.
The
disposition He works in us is fearlessness, not just fearlessness, but that of
endurance and faith.
The word
fortitude means to have the strength of mind to endure pain or adversity with
courage. It means strength, force, power
to attack or resist attack. The mental
power of endurance, patience and courage in affliction, privation or temptation. Firmness in confronting danger, hardship or
sufferings.
This
is what He has called us to. To be a
visible demonstration of the cross in the time to come in suffering and not in
the absence of suffering. In order to
experience His glory, we have to be made conformable unto His death in
suffering. We have to be willing, have a
fortitude to go into suffering, with this mind of “I will not give up. Work in
me Lord that which needs to be worked in me, even now in my present suffering.” Working that character in us that was in
Yeshua, who set His face like a flint to go up to Jerusalem.
Herewith
a word Father gave me in November 2021.
My name is Pietra that comes from Peter, which means “stone”. And Peter represents the Church. So, this is a personal as well as a corporate
message to the Church.
ROCK OF AGES
It is no coincidence
that you are called “Peter”. I have
called you. I have named you for My
purposes. Needing you to become strong
only in Me. To stand in the midst of the
storm.
For the gates of
hell will indeed come against My church, My Rock, My stones, but they will not
prevail. Therefore, know it is for such
a time I am preparing you. To be strong,
resolute and stable in Me. I alone am
your strength. Without Me you can do
nothing.
Have I not said that
the righteous are as the mountains that cannot be moved? Do not fear the floods. Do not fear their words, but stand resolute
in the strength that I am. This word
shall not depart out of your mouth, but you shall mediate upon it day and
night.
For My word will not
return void. Even in the greatest storm
it stands. When your life is built on My
word and you do My will, you shall not be moved. Therefore, My child, do not look to the left
or the right, but fix your gaze on that which I have apprehended you for…to be
My pillar of faith. Faith cometh by
hearing and hearing by the Word of God.
So, listen, obey and
trust Me. Trust Me that I will hasten to
perform My word spoken through you.
Great exploits for which I am preparing you.
You cannot do this
unless you are established in My word, unless you are built on the Rock.
Therefore, as I have said, “Focus My little stone, built up in Me, The Rock of Ages cleft for you.