Saturday, December 26, 2020



River of Life 


If there is one thing that has radically changed my Christian walk, I would have to say it is the realization that God is a God of Truth.  Truth is reality as appose to that which is deceptive and untrue.  I realized that to ascribe to the truth is not enough, but that the emphasis has to be on whether I am the truth that I speak.  Jesus requires of us to judge righteously and He says through David’s prayer in Psalm 51 that He requires truth in the inward parts.  This is the crux of all our day to day dilemmas.  And if we allow the Spirit to show us that which is not true in us, we are at the perfect place of submitting under His authority.  That sweet place of humble submission where we are found out to be the phonies we are, ascribing to truths, but not being the truth in itself.  Truth however painful, is refreshing.

Father gave me a word just as I was waking up.  I have the responsibility to first knock on my own door when it comes to anything He gives me, lest I be found in error.  Very much having to walk the talk as we are all called to do.  I was struggling with this word because I was not sure how it applied to me other than the fact that I so desperately want Him to fill me afresh with His living water.  I am so tired and this year, probably just like you, has had its toll on me.  I was crying out to Him and whilst just being swept up, I suddenly saw a vision of me standing in a puddle of water.  What could this mean?  That very morning I saw a vision, upon waking as well, of a close up of a leaf where I could see its veins.  I could see the water running through these veins and the next moment it became this gold fiery color.  That was it.  And the Lord spoke to me in that instance and said, “First the water, then the fire.”  We know that water speaks of being washed and cleansed, and I believe that it is exactly what He is requiring of us.  To cleanse ourselves and to purify our hearts in repentance.  Because where we find the fire, is the Holy of Holies.  This is the very place that only the High Priests could go in.  Before he could go in as was required only once a year, he had to make absolutely sure that he was ceremonially clean, but also clean of sin.  These were men that walked in the literal fear of God because once they went in there with sin, it was “bye, bye baby!”  The Holy of Holies was the place of God’s glory where no flesh could enter.  So we can appreciate why He would say first the water and then the fire.  This was also the case where there was a bronze basin of water before they entered the temple to wash themselves. 

We are presently at a very crucial time where we cannot afford to do things our way, but have to seek God for how he would want it to be.  When I asked Him about this puddle of water I was standing in, I was saddened by what He showed me.  He took me to Ezekiel 47 where the Son of Man was shown the different levels of water coming from the temple.  We know now that we are this temple of God.  The first level of water was the ankle, then the knees, and then he could not cross over, and it says he could swim in it.  So you can imagine my disappointment with only being ankle deep.  However, as I was seeking my heart for sin and disobedience that I am walking in, He directed my attention to focus to control.  Whilst water is only to our ankles, we in fact can choose whether we want to stay in the water or just simply walk out.  We are fairly independent and in essence it speaks of a level of walking in the fear of God.  The part where the water comes to the knees, does not make it impossible to leave, but there is a certain vulnerability that comes with being on your knees.  Your ability to control a situation is less.  Once we get to the river, all control and dependency are out the door and you are at the mercy of the current.  Obviously this is where we want to be.  We want the River of God to take complete control of our lives and just be given over to it wherever He may lead us. 

I am drawn to the fact that between ankle deep and the river of water, the water level at the knees seems to be the bridge.  That place of vulnerability where we cry out to God.  It is in a sense a place of decision.  Do I turn around and walk out, or do I pursue this further and go deeper?  Do I go down even further into that place of unknown where I do not get to make the choices, but He does?  Where what is required of me is absolute obedience.  The reason I say this is that in Revelation 22 we read the following:

Revelation 22: 1 - 2

22 And he shewed me a pure river of water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding out of the throne of God and of the Lamb.

In the midst of the street of it, and on either side of the river, was there the tree of life, which bare twelve manner of fruits, and yielded her fruit every month: and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.

What I find interesting is that the river flows not only just from the throne, but that the Lamb and the throne is one, from which this river flows.  When we think of the word “throne”, we think authority.  So from out of this place of authority, which is the highest authority of all, the Lamb of God, comes this river.  There is only one thing authority requires…obedience.  Now, I have to tell you that Father was not talking to me about outright disobedience, He was talking to me about independence.  Pride.  There’s no other way to put it.  It is what it is.  How easy it is for us to become so independent without knowing it.  We become so efficient in our Christianity.  We know the lingo, we know the scripture and verse, and we have gone through so much in various wilderness experiences and so when we open our mouths, out comes our understanding and experiences.  Now our testimony carries with it great value and as the Word says, they overcame by their testimonies and the blood of the Lamb.  I suppose those testimonies spoken about in Revelation holds more to it that just what we went through, but rather its focus may very well be what we are because of what we went through by the grace of God.   But herein lies what Father wanted to show me.  Everything that we have gone through, is not the River.  It just is not.  Neither is anything you have learned in the Word or experienced.  Not even many years of theological training or research you have done or any kind of training for that matter.  Yes, it helps, but it is not the River in itself.  Without us knowing it, we subconsciously think that what we have gone through is the be all and end all.  That this is what makes us unique and different, and dare I say…”special”.  Of course I am not downplaying whatever anyone have gone through.  What I am saying is that we end up holding fast to our confession of testimony, rather than our profession of faith…which is Jesus Christ and HIM crucified. 

Somehow we lay more emphasis on our testimony of what we have gone through, and what He has gone through becomes the springboard, the starting point, but not the heart of it.  Not just in our testimonies, although our testimonies are important, but we also seem to depend more on what we have gone through and learned in life, rather on that very life, the River of Life that flows from the throne of God and the Lamb.  You will see a clear correlation between Ezekiel 47 and Revelation 22 and know that we are those trees that is to bring healing to the nations. 

I have to ask, “Have we grown independent from the testimony of the cross?”  Has our testimony of what we have gone through become more important than what He went through?  The issue is not who suffered more, the issue is WHO suffered.  Have we elevated our suffering above His, and subscribed to religious lingo, saying the “right” and Christian thing, whilst in our hearts we hold our own suffering so dear?  Is our disobedience to the authority of God which flows from the throne of God and the Lamb, our independence in this regard?  Please do not make the mistake of thinking that this could not be true of you because in Jeremiah 17 we read that the heart is utterly deceitful above all things and desperately wicked.  So do not be so quick to think that you do not have to consider the possibility. 

Is this maybe the reason why He gives me a message whilst still half asleep?  Where I am not yet fully within my senses, scrambling for pen and paper as I write what He speaks to my spirit?  When I wrote what I sensed He was saying I found myself asking was this of me or from Him, because I felt so disjointed.  So as if I was making this up and yet, for the next two days He told me to trust Him and confirmed it over and over to such a degree that I just cannot doubt it.  He had to find me at my weakest where I was not yet fully drenched in His presence sensing the anointing, but disheveled and tired, i.e. not in control.  Is this the reason why we are still ankle deep thinking that we are quite efficient in our evangelistic approach and testimonies.  The ability we have to bring others to tears and to get them to think about their lives?  As important as all these things are, the question that remains is, is the river that flows from your mouth that which issues from out of you, or is it gushing out of the throne of God, where you live in such dependence in obedience to Him, that it is not a drop, or a trickle, but the living water of God, where when you speak it becomes an event?  Where they cry out to you and say, “What must I do to be saved!”  How efficient have you grown with your step 1 – 10 of how to evangelize, or maybe just how you have always done it?  You know where to begin, and that particular punchline necessary to get them to consider their ways, but not yet to the degree you would really like to?  Have you grown independent of the River of Life that flows from that thrown where you dare not assume upon God as to treat every individual the same, but have an ear to hear and a mouth that is given over to the guidance of the Spirit in each particular moment?  Whether we like to hear this or not, our independence just like our obvious sins, defiles the purity of those living waters.   And the reality is that living from our own sufficiency causes us to grow weary and tired, because very soon our tank is on empty. How much of the dreams and visions and words from the Lord are murky and does not come true, because so many of them are mixed with "self".  The issue is not always whether a dream or vision or even a word is from Him, but rather, how much of self is mixed with it?  Because He desires that a crystal clear river would flow through us.

No matter how strong we think we have grown in the Lord, we are to be like babes, ever dependent on our Father for the next meal, or in this case, drink.  We have grown comfortable with our puddles of water we stand in.  It is what it is and we have come by with our effiancy, so why change it?  But if we want the river, greater dependency is required of us, which is only found in one place…on our knees.  Where we seek His face afresh and will not move until we know that the very River of God is gushing forth from our innermost being. 

Paul says the following in 1 Corinthians.

1 Corinthians 2:2

For I am determined to not know anything among you, save Jesus Christ and Him crucified.

This is a man that called himself the worst of all sinners.  It was not to show us how humble he was, but that we could understand that the man who is known as the Apostles of all Apostles, which could say follow me, as I follow Christ, was so dependent on that River of Life that flows from the throne, that he could say it with authenticity.  Such meekness and weakness.  The very meekness we see in the Lamb of God who is one with the Throne of God from which this River of Life flows.

Have we grown strong in our testimonies so that we no longer need this River of Life?  Maybe you are independent in other areas.  Maybe in how you rear your children, or how you have determined you will do you work, cutting the corners where you can.  Maybe you have decided how and where you will reach out to others based on what you read in scripture, but forgetting that the life flows from the Spirit.  This independency is quite subtle.  It is not so obvious in our day to day life, especially when we have become so proficient in being Christian.  There is only one place to brake that mold we have built for ourselves…on our knees.  Exactly where I am going to find myself come what may, because I will not be happy unless that very River of Life runs through me and takes me wherever He wants to. I do not want to give people my opinion, my understanding, or my talent for writing or any other thing...I want to give them JESUS.  Because He is all that matters.  I do not want to make the living waters of His life running through my veins to be murky because I have grown independent in my walk as a Christian and have lost the freshness of being filled to overflow with His life, that continues to produce new life.  I have to come over and over to this throneroom to which we are called to come with boldness, and there find myself on my knees in the River of Life.  For unless I come often to drink, of what river am I giving to others?  And am I to stay a little while, being happy with a sensational thrill here and there, or am I going to do what it takes to immerse myself so that I may be taken over and become one with this River?  Where my seeing and hearing is His seeing and hearing, and my speaking His speaking.  He is seeking those who will seek Him with earnestness and are desperate not only for a touch, but an immersion into His life!

In Ezekiel 47 we see that this river flows from different directions out of the temple into other rivers, which is the Dead Sea coming into contact with the sea of the River of God, coming to life again.  There will be so many fishes.  This fishes speaks of the harvest that will come because we are called to be Fishers of men.  But the question remains, are we in the Dead Sea or in the River of Life?

I pray that you hear what the Spirit of God is saying to you personally and that you will ask the relevant questions to the One who knows your deceitful heart more than any other, and yet still loves you beyond words.  Let us draw near with repentant hearts to the Throne of grace that we may find grace and mercy, on our knees before the Lamb of God.



All showers start with a single drop, all showers from rivers, and all rivers flow into the sea.  If you are thirsty, you come with a cup, but if you want all, then you come with all.

Rivers of life and healing, from your innermost being all find their origin in Me.  Are you in Me as I am about to send you out?  Will you dry up because you have been giving of yourself and not of Me?  For My River of Life will never run dry.  It will continue in Me and flow from out of Me, for I am the River of Life.  Can a river be thirsty?  Yet many of you are.  You are thirsty for many things, but are you truly thirsty for Me?  I search your hearts continually and there are those who no longer come to be filled.  Their rivers have grown muddy and murky and yet they continue to give others to drink.  My River of Life will cleanse you continually and because of the clarity they will see, they will see their own filth and turn in repentance to Me.  Many have not because you still insist on giving others of yourself.  Am I to look to you for provision?  Are they to look to you?  When you shall return to Me and drink of Me, then they shall drink of Me and thirst no more.

Come all who are thirsty and I will give you drink.  Continue in Me and as you allow the water of my Word to cleanse you, living water shall flow.  Will you continue to give others of your murky unrepentant water so that they can continue in their sin just like you?

Seek Me afresh My children to cleanse you with My Word and My Spirit will confirm that which I have done in you.  For My Spirit is first and foremost the Spirit of Truth.  Examine yourself…Are you in the truth?

For where My river flows, My fire goes.  Every part of you ignited with My glory.  Vitally part of every cell.  Strengthening your inner walls by My strength.  You are My planting and I have planted you by My River of Life so that you may drink of Me.  Have I not said that there will be healing in your leaves?  Am I not the life of your life?  Have the murkiness of your river not come from your compromise and therefore you no longer see clearly?  How long has it been since you have allowed My Spirit to search your innermost being?  For I desire truth in the innermost being.

Ask of Me and I will give you to drink.  I am the Living Water.


Please Read:

Ezekiel 47: 6 - 12


And he said unto me, Son of man, hast thou seen this? Then he brought me, and caused me to return to the brink of the river.

Now when I had returned, behold, at the bank of the river were very many trees on the one side and on the other.

Then said he unto me, These waters issue out toward the east country, and go down into the desert, and go into the sea: which being brought forth into the sea, the waters shall be healed.

And it shall come to pass, that everything that liveth, which moveth, whithersoever the rivers shall come, shall live: and there shall be a very great multitude of fish, because these waters shall come thither: for they shall be healed; and everything shall live whither the river cometh.

10 And it shall come to pass, that the fishers shall stand upon it from Engedi even unto Eneglaim; they shall be a place to spread forth nets; their fish shall be according to their kinds, as the fish of the great sea, exceeding many.

11 But the miry places thereof and the marishes thereof shall not be healed; they shall be given to salt.

12 And by the river upon the bank thereof, on this side and on that side, shall grow all trees for meat, whose leaf shall not fade, neither shall the fruit thereof be consumed: it shall bring forth new fruit according to his months, because their waters they issued out of the sanctuary: and the fruit thereof shall be for meat, and the leaf thereof for medicine.

Psalm 42

1. As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.

My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?

My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God?

When I remember these things, I pour out my soul in me: for I had gone with the multitude, I went with them to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise, with a multitude that kept holyday.

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.

O my God, my soul is cast down within me: therefore will I remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the Hermonites, from the hill Mizar.

Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy waterspouts: all thy waves and thy billows are gone over me.

Yet the Lord will command his lovingkindness in the day time, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life.

I will say unto God my rock, Why hast thou forgotten me? why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?

10 As with a sword in my bones, mine enemies reproach me; while they say daily unto me, Where is thy God?

11 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

1 comment:

  1. Oh yes, my heart panteth after the water brooks of my Saviour, So so much. I am indeed so tired and weary. Please Dear Jesus, I need Your Living Water so much!?