YOUR THORN

 

YOUR THORN - AUDIO

Today I would like to just speak from the heart.  Just with regard to what Father is dealing with me personally and I know that what He is talking to me about is applicable to everybody that serves Him…and His ways with us.  It has been for a while now that I have been under the weight of His hand upon me with regard to my daughter and the disorders that she has and how it affects me.  And, I have been praying to Him a lot about humility and my heart’s desire is just that He will bring me into greater humility in all that I say, or do or think.  And of course He will use my daughter to do that.  He has always used her amongst other things.  But she has been the primary tool in His hand.  Last night was no different.  I often get woken up by her in the middle of the night, often, pretty much every night.  The point is that when we lose sleep and do not get sleep for an extended time, it wears a person out.  Sleep deprivation is used as a tool for torture.  People know that you cannot think straight because of a lack of sleep. That your resolve is low and you just cannot think straight.  That was the case with me last night and I have noticed that it is just increasing the pressure that Father has placed upon me through her.  And I am being crushed under His hand.  And so last night my daughter just start talking to me about my attitude towards her.  She is expecting me to be all gentle and kind at 12:00 at night and waking me up for the smallest, smallest thing.  But it is huge to her and after a while it loses its novelty and as I went to sleep again, Father just spoke gently to my heart and reminded me of Hebrews 12 where it says that we are to follow peace with all men and holiness, for without which nobody will see the Lord. And that brought such fear in my heart because I was not at peace with my daughter.  In our struggle we so easily say that what is happening to us, is because Father is allowing it and so we can say the right thing, but how we react to it is contradictory to what we confess.  Meaning we know it is from His hand but somehow because it comes through someone, you cannot look pass them.  It is one thing if it happens once in a while.  You know, when somebody cuts in in front on you, or somebody talks badly about you, or something that happens in your life, but then it goes away.  It is easy to look at that and have the right attitude in that moment by humbling yourself and learning from that…and that is good.  But it is another thing if it is year in and year out and there is no end to it.  It is like the scraping away of all your strength.  And it goes on and on and on.  Then eventually you have moments and seasons that you do well and seasons that you do not so well.  When your resolve becomes less and less and less.  And you start to not see the hand behind this person, which is the Lord allowing it, but you start seeing the person that He is using.  This can come in many forms.  It can be out of a broken relationship where your husband, you just know by now that he does not love you anymore or friends that have moved on no longer inviting you, you are no longer part of it, you just a non-entity to them.  Or in my case like a daughter with disorders that just does not go away. It is not that the Lord does not want to heal, it is not that the Lord does not want to touch, or that He does not want to console or anything like that.  But, certain things He brings healing to and other things He allows.  Such as was the case with Paul where he asked the Lord three times to remove the thorn from his flesh. But the Lord said My grace is sufficient for you in your weakness.  So anybody that goes out and tells everybody that the Lord wants to remove this or does not want you to go through that, it may be true, but it is not always true.   And so there has to be an acceptance once you start to realize that this thorn is of Him.  You have to come to a place of acceptance where no longer the thorn is looked to, but Him, that we look to Him.  And that is not very easy if you have gone from year in and year out with pain and suffering in your body, not easy when you yourself has disorders, not easy when day in and day out, for instance your husband is living his life as if you no longer exist.  Or seeing your wife not loving you anymore.  Or seeing your child rebellious, on drugs, wrong friends, whatever it may be. Addicted.  And we look upon these things and we see the evil of it and it is for us to be able to discern, has the Lord given me this thorn or is this from the enemy?  Sometimes we can stand up against something that He has provided long term.  As was the case with Paul’s thorn.  And so in essence this message is to those who have been wearied and burdened under the weight of the thorn that He has allowed in your life.  And to let you know that to kick against the goads as He said to Paul is to hurt yourself and to fight against it is to fight against Him.  And He desires to give us the grace to enter into that weakness and to allow Him to humble us.  That is the only purpose if the purpose is not to seek a solution, if the purpose is not to stand up against it.  But if the purpose is that He may humble you, then there is only one thing you have to do…and that is to humble yourself every single time.  And that takes a moment in time when you commit to it.  And you cannot commit to it 90%, 50%, 99%, you have to commit to it 100%...for as long as He deems.  It might be forever in the sense of our earthly journey.  But we have to commit to that humility and to bow under His hand, because His promise to us is that He will lift us up.  He will give us the grace to endure every single time.  But this cannot happen if we resist the thorn He has chosen in our lives.  So this morning I just want to give you this word that He gave me.  I pray you will take it to the Lord.  And I also I love reading ancient literature from the 1600”s, 1400”s and I came across a Bishop Andrews of the 1600”s that wrote a devotional.  The devotional consists of prayers.  I just want to read one of the prayers.  I have been reading one every morning the different prayers.  I am not one to do that, because I can say my own prayers. But these prayers carry within them such a spirit of humility when read from the heart and it really just humbles me every time.  So I would just like to minister to everybody that will be listening to this word.  And allow the Holy Spirit to minister to you with humility.  Let me start with the Word that He gave to me on the 10^th.

YOUR THORN

All who desires wisdom, come unto Me and I will give to you.

Yes, come in faith for that which only I can give.

You have been heavy laden under the cross you have born for Me.

And when you take your eyes off Me in the carrying of your cross, all you see is suffering and pain.

But, as much as My cross is suffering, it is also My glory.  

Have I not said that I know the plans that I have for you?

You think it is to suffer and to bear a cross, but the cross is My means to glory.

There is no other way but through My cross.  

You are weak, tired and can sometimes barely place one foot before the other. 

But it is My cross, My choice of thorn in your flesh that I have purposed for you.

Just like My Father divinely chose the thorn of the cross on My back, My legs, My head and hands.  

I BORE YOUR THORN FOR YOU.

That thorn is bound to My cross

Do not resent the thorn, do not resent My cross.

Pick it up, ask wisdom and I will give it to you liberally.  

I will send the Simons to help you carry on your way.

I will be all you need on your way.

In your weakness, I am strong.  

Let My cross born on your back lay the weight of weakness on you so that you may bear it in My strength.

For My grace is sufficient for you My child...even in this.

Some have laid their cross down, but I have called you to die daily.

Are you a son and daughter without a cross?  Have you no scar to identify with My suffering?  

Therefore, examine your heart whether you resent the thorn I have chosen.  Whether the hand that molds you have become an offense and humble yourself under My mighty hand.

I know the plans I have for you even in this.

NEVER LOSE SIGHT OF THE CROSS YOU ARE CALLED TO BEAR.

My yoke is easy and My burden is light, only by the grace I alone supply.

You have much still to learn, therefore do not despise the means.

Humble yourself under the weight of the cross and I will raise you up.  

When the fight becomes greater, your level of humility too.

That which you see as an obstacle, detriment and suffering, is My provision to humble you for what is to come.

The greater the authority, the greater the humility.

CONFESSION (by Bishop Andrews)

Who can understand his errors 

Cleanse Thou me from secret faults. 

Keep back Thy servant also from presumptuous sins, lest they have the dominion over me. 

For Thy Name’s sake, be merciful unto my sin, for it is great. 

My iniquities have taken such hold upon me that I am not able to look up, 

yea, they are more in number than the hairs of my head, and my heart hath failed me, 

Be pleased, O Lord, to deliver me, 

Make haste, O Lord, to help me. 

Magnify Thy mercies upon me, 

O Thou who savest them that trust in Thee. 

I said, Lord, have mercy upon me, 

heal my soul, for I have sinned against Thee; 

I have sinned, but I am confounded, and I turn from my evil ways,  

and I turn unto mine own heart, and with my whole heart I turn unto Thee; 

and I seek Thy face, and I beseech Thee, saying, 

I have sinned, I have committed iniquity, I have done unjustly. 

I know, O Lord, the plague of my heart, and lo, I turn to Thee with all my heart, 

and with all my strength. 

And Thou, O Lord, now from Thy dwelling-place, 

and from the glorious throne of Thy kingdom in heaven, 

O hear the prayer and the supplication of Thy servant; 

and be propitious towards Thy servant and heal his soul. 

O God, be merciful to me a sinner, 

be merciful to me the chief of sinners. 

Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before Thee, 

and am no more worthy to be called Thy son, 

make me one of Thy hired servants; 

Make me one, or even the last, or the least among all. 

What profit is there in my blood, when I go down to the pit? 

shall the dust give thanks unto Thee? 

or shall it declare Thy truth? 

Hear, O Lord, and have mercy upon me; 

Lord, be Thou my helper; 

Turn my heaviness into joy, 

my dreamings into earnestness, 

my falls into clearings of myself, 

my guilt, my offence into indignation, 

my sin into fear, 

my transgression into vehement desire, 

my unrighteousness into strictness, 

my pollution into revenge. 

Amen

I pray that the Lord will give you the grace to humble yourself under the thorn that He has chosen for your life and I know that He will give you the grace once you have done that.  To raise you up, to cause you to humble yourself each time and that you will grow in humility.  You will grow in love because of that humility, you will grow in self-control. And you will grow to extend mercy and forgiveness to those who do not deserve it.  To the thorns that He has chosen to be placed in your life.  Whatever it may be, relational, financial, does not matter what it is, for our God, His thoughts are not our thoughts and His ways are not our ways.  He loves us with an endearing love, and places His hand upon us, not randomly, but meticulously and purposely He chooses that which will form us and mold us so that He may fill us.  So that nothing will be left of us, but that we will be just an outpouring of His goodness, because there is nothing left of us. This He can only do when we choose to humble ourselves…amen.